


I Found Love (Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be)

by SereneCalamity



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Season/Series 03, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Sexual Content, everyone deserves a happy ending, mentions of mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 21:38:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19934893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneCalamity/pseuds/SereneCalamity
Summary: Steve had been looking after Billy for months now, with a lot of help from Max and Robin. They were all just trying to heal.





	I Found Love (Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So. I've been working on this since...The 5th, when I finished the show. And I'm actually pretty proud of this, and this is by far the most I've ever written for a oneshot and the most I've written in a short amount of time. I know that there's a lot of Post Season 3 fics out there, and I've studiously ignored them while I've been writing this, just to make sure I wasn't subconsciously influenced. Haha. I hope you guys enjoy this :) Also, to anyone reading my series, I'm starting work on them right now, they were just put on hold while I was working on this.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the title, which comes from I Found by Amber Run. I do own any errors, as this has only been edited once. I'll go through it again later.  
> Trigger Warning: This obviously takes place in the 1980's because it is based post-canon, which means that this does address some period-typical homophobia and there are some homophobic slurs. Please be aware.
> 
> 17/04/2020 - Edit-ish :)

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month and then it was nearing on two and Billy Hargrove was still the same, exactly the same as when he had been half-carried into the Harrington house. Steve Harrington didn't know what to do, it wasn't as though there was some guidebook on how to look after a random guy that was living in one of his guest rooms whose hair was a complete matted mess, whose veins were still unnaturally dark and who only left the bed to go to the bathroom. Sometimes when he was in the bathroom he showered, sometimes he didn't, and Steve changed the sheets when he could, but most of the time Billy got up while Steve was at work, and he obviously couldn't change the sheets then, so a whole _week_ could go by and it would be the _same sheets_.

For a normal person on a normal bed, that would be okay, because they were only in their bed for seven or eight hours a day.

But Billy was in there _all_ day.

There was practically a groove dug out in the mattress for his body at this point, and Steve could imagine his mother wouldn't be too impressed if she ever found out. He had managed to make excuses every time for the cleaners, and they liked him enough not to tell his parents, but there were definitely questions painted all over their faces over the fact they were never allowed in the guest bedroom beside Steve's bedroom.

His parents were meant to be coming home in three days, however, probably only for a week or so, and Steve had _big plans_ and Billy couldn't be here when the Harringtons arrived.

"Billy?" Steve said quietly as he tapped his knuckles on the door. There was no response, but there never was, so Steve gently opened the door and stepped inside with the plate of toast. The curtains were drawn shut and there was small fan heater whirring away in the corner of the room and since the windows and door had been shut, the heat in the room was stifling and Steve immediately felt as though he was going to break out in a sweat. But that was what Billy liked—because he had had to force his body to be so cold while his body had been taken over—and so Steve didn't argue. "I brought you something to eat," he said as he walked over to the bedside table and put down the plate.

There was silence from the bed, which was also common, but Steve actually needed to talk to him today.

"Listen," Steve pulled a hand through his thick hair, licking his tongue over his lower lip and standing awkwardly beside the head of the bed. "My parents are going to be home on Thursday." Still nothing from the pile of blankets and the tiny tuft of curling hair that was resting on the pillow, but Steve knew that he was awake because the breathing was uneven and shallow. "I promised my dad that I would have moved out by the time that they got home," he continued. "And I've found a place. It'll be with Robin, and there's this room..." he took in a deep breath because he really wasn't sure how Billy was going to take this. "There's this room that is meant to be the lounge, but it can be separated by these sliding doors and you can fit two beds in there." Still nothing from Billy and Steve was getting frustrated, because he really didn't know what Billy was thinking or feeling or—he let out a huff. "Look—I'm moving out tomorrow and into a new place with Robin and you need to move out as well. You're welcome to move in with us, I made sure there was a place for you and I'll cover your rent and everything, but whatever you decide, you have to be out before my parents get home." Then he turned and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Maybe he sounded a little bit like an asshole, especially with everything that Billy had been through, but it was hard. Hard living with a guy who had maybe said a handful of words to him in nearly two months, even though he was feeding and clothing and housing him. Hard living with a guy who got night terrors from everything that he had been through and screamed at all hours, making Steve's tears drip down his cheeks. Hard living with a guy that he now knew had lost so much and had suffered so much and had been twisted into the angry, bitter teenager than he had met last year in Hawkins.

If Steve wasn't working, he was home. He didn't go out with any of his friends, he didn't hang out to the shops, he didn't go on dates or to the movies, he stayed home. There were about two occasions Robin Buckley had managed to drag him out, and Dustin Henderson had ended up getting stuck in the middle of the forest one day with his little friends and Steve had had to drive and get them, but other than that, Steve was home. It wasn't often that he was actually in Billy's room, because he never wanted to crowd him, but sometimes he would walk past, and he would be able to _hear_ Billy crying, and it made his heart hurt, and so he would go in and sit on the floor, beside the head of the bed. At first, Billy hadn't even acted as though he knew he was there, but in the past few weeks, he had reached out a hand, and Steve had taken it, holding on tight, providing whatever little comfort he could.

Nancy Wheeler and Robin helped him a lot. It was probably good for Nancy, because she was dealing with Jonathan Byers moving away, and she had gotten a job at a local daycare that she absolutely hated and was going through her last year at high school, so focusing on someone else helped out a lot. And Robin was amazing—she had just had been thrown into this whole mess with them and she was riding the train out. She wasn't a bad cook either, so she made Steve extra meals to take home for Billy.

Maxine Mayfield came over a lot as well, she spent the most time at the house, sometimes staying the night, sitting on the floor beside Billy's head, or laying on the bed on top of the blankets. From what Steve heard from her, he spoke to her, but it wasn't a lot.

Still, it was more than what he was getting.

Dustin came over a lot as well, biking over after school, and to begin with, he never hid the fact that he didn't like that Billy was there. He was pretty vocal about how there was a _murderer_ sleeping under the same roof as Steve, but he had settled down after the first few weeks and it had become very obvious that Billy wasn't going to assault Steve in any way, shape or form. Max also punched him enough times to leave bruises up and down his arm, every time she heard Dustin insult her bed-prone brother.

The night when things had all exploded at _Starcourt Mall_ was still a bit fuzzy, if Steve was being completely honest. Which made sense, considering there had been drugs pumping through his system which he had noticed in the days following, even though he thought he had thrown most of them up. A lot had happened, and on top of everything else that had happened over the past couple of years, Steve wondered if his mind was just going to stop going to process all the weird shit. When the place had been completely swarmed with officials and Max was laying across Billy's body, they had all thought he was dead, that had been what Steve had thought when he had gone through _days_ of questioning. There hadn't been in a funeral, because Max didn't want Neil and Susan Hargrove to know that Billy was dead, and the officials had sort of just shrugged it off, given they didn't understand half the stuff that happened with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer and. El mentioned that Billy's body had disappeared, and they all had their own theories, but Max said that she didn't want Neil to think that he had _won_. So she told them that he run off, and gone back to California, and she was sticking to her story, grieving in private and with her friends.

Steve had organised for Billy's smashed Camaro to be brought back to his place to hide it there, and he had been going to get it taken away to be turned into scrap metal, but then Max had kept coming by, day after day, just sitting on the twisted metal of the hood and running her fingers over the scratched paint, and he couldn't let it go. It was just another thing to hide from his parents, and so in the end, he had managed to get the Camaro into the back garage where his father never went anymore, where his mothers second car was kept.

A month after the Byers and El Hopper had left, Mike Wheeler had gotten a panicked walkie wake up call from El in the middle of the night, her voice urgent, waking him up and telling him that Billy was alive and he was in the forest, and they had to find him. Mike had woken all of them up on their walkie-talkies—which Steve kept on his bedside table and Robin now had on her window sill—and said that they _had_ to find Billy.

They hadn't known exactly what they were looking for.

 _Billy_ , but what would Billy even look like now? He had been killed, he'd had the tentacles of the Mind Flayer _driven_ into his body. They'd seen his dead body, under Max, the black blood spilling out his mouth and from his stomach and puddling under his back and head.

But when they'd found him, after searching for nearly two days, he looked incredibly human. Skinny and cold, but human. He was crumbled in the forest, and he was shivering and hardly clothed and Max had screamed when she had seen his body. Steve was the oldest one there, and he wished not the first time that Chief Hopper or Joyce Byers were still there and able to help. The best place to take him was back to Steve's, that was decided straight away, and then...He had just never left.

The night at the _Starcourt Mall_ , El had gotten through to Billy, and in the end, Billy had saved her and helped hold off the Mind Flayer. They all knew that. And honestly, it had hurt Steve a lot in the aftermath, speaking with Max and El, finding out the details, knowing what El had seen in in Billy's head, the loss that she had felt in his heart and how quickly he had flipped when he had been reminded of his mother. Then Max talking about the verbal, physical, emotional and mental abuse that his father had subjected him to for years—long before Max had even come into the picture, and Steve had known some of it, he had suspected more, but he hadn't known just how bad it was. There wasn't much he could do, he didn't know how he could help Billy, but he knew that Billy couldn't just stay in the bed, doing nothing, not moving forward.

Steve didn't tell Billy that his father had never actually told him that he _had_ to move out.

He didn't tell him that he thought it was time that both of them had a change of scenery, that he thought it might help them both.

There wasn't much point anyway, because it wasn't as though Billy was going to actually _talk_ to him, so he stuck with his decision and went to his room, which was practically empty now, and lay down on his bed.

* * *

"You need a haircut," Robin wrinkled her nose as she looked at Billy and Steve sighed, because _of course_ that was the first thing that Robin said to Billy when he had ventured into the outside world.

"Robin," he muttered, tone warning.

"You _do_ ," she continued, ignoring Steve completely, and Billy wasn't even really _looking_ at her, it was sort of like he was seeing right through her. His face was blank and his eyes were half-lidded, even though he was standing and clothed and kind of looked like a normal person for the first time in nearly two months. "Seriously, it looks like there is an entire _family_ of hamsters living on your head."

"Robin," Steve said again, this time a little bit louder, feeling annoyed on _Billy's_ behalf. He wasn't saying anything, and it actually made Steve feel a little sick. Because it showed just how bad Billy was still feeling, just how much he _wasn't_ himself. Six months ago, Billy would have been snapping at her. Or turning the whole thing around on her and flirting, it could go either way, but no response showed how far he had fallen. Steve didn't know for certain, because he hadn't been close to the Byers family at the time, but he was pretty sure that it hadn't taken Will this long just to simple string a sentence together.

"Can I cut your hair? If you don't reply, I'm taking it as a yes," Robin continued, just shrugging, not paying an attention to Steve, which was pretty normal. "Or at least brush it and style it a bit," she grinned and made her eyebrows wiggle. "We could give you a perm like Nancy. Bet you—"

" _Don't_ ," Billy suddenly said, his voice quiet but strong. "Don't touch my hair." Steve's eyebrows flew up as he looked at Billy with wide eyes. Robin grinned, looking happy with herself, nodding her head once before turning around and grabbing another one of their boxes from the back of the truck Steve had hired and walking into the apartment building. Steve blinked and watched her go before looking back at Billy.

"Did you want to follow her up?" Steve said after a few moments, clearing his throat before turning to the open back of the truck. Billy hadn't actually been to the apartment building before, so he didn't know where to go if left to his own devices. Steve hadn't even known if Billy was going to be moving with them until that morning when he had been finishing packing his things and _thinking_ about going in to talk to Billy but not wanting to pressure him and then he had looked up and Billy had been standing awkwardly in his doorway with a thick blanket wrapped around his thin shoulders. Steve had asked him quietly if he wanted to come with him and Robin, and Billy had just nodded, not saying anything, and then the next thing, he was sloppily dressed and in the front of the moving truck.

Steve didn't expect Billy to respond as he looked at the precariously packed boxes and furniture that Dustin and his friends had helped with, and he didn't, but when Steve turned back around with a big box in his arms, Billy was still standing there, and he reached out his arms, as though to take the box from Steve.

Steve blinked again.

Then he handed over the box and Billy stumbled a little under the weight, which completely took Steve by surprise.

"Shit, sorry," he reached out and grasped Billy's shoulder, making sure he was steady, and Billy swallowed hard. Steve hadn't even thought about the fact that Billy had been doing pretty much nothing for the past few months, so of course he would have lost muscle mass, and he was about to take the box back, but then Billy was turning around, teeth clenched together and walking into the building. Steve wondered if he should follow after Billy to make sure he was okay, but he didn't, because he didn't want the other man to feel as though he was crowding him or babying him, so he grabbed a duffel bag and a free-standing lamp and started up the stairs as well.

Billy helped with two more loads, which was nowhere near enough to empty out the truck, but he was puffing and red and Steve didn't want him to push himself so he asked Billy to start unpacking stuff in the apartment.

And Billy actually did.

He put things that were marked _Robin_ in the room she pointed to, and he put things marked _Steve_ in the big room that was clearly generally the lounge. There were no boxes marked _Billy_ , which made Steve sad, but he didn't dwell on it. Billy even unpacked some of Steve's things once Robin, Steve and one of their new neighbors had gotten Steve's set of drawers up the stairs, but mostly he unpacked the kitchen and lounge things.

He—very wisely—didn't unpack any of Robin's things.

The deposit of the apartment, along with the first two weeks in rent, was all paid for by Greg Harrington, which was perfect, it didn't dent the money that Robin had been saving up, or the money that Steve had, ever since his father had relented from his high and mighty stance of making Steve 'earn his way' from a while ago and started giving him a monthly allowance again.

The apartment itself was actually pretty nice as well, courtesy of the money that Steve got from his father. The lay out was going to be a little strange since they would be using the lounge area as Steve and Billy's bedroom and the second bedroom was actually going to the be the lounge, but that was fine. The kitchen and dining room were all together in a bit of a curved shape with a breakfast bar, and then there was the lounge, but there were the sliding doors separating it. The bathroom and the two bedrooms came off it, and Robin and Steve had made the executive decision that the lounge they would use would be the bedroom that had the balcony, not giving Billy much of a choice because, well, he wasn't really talking and at the time they had been looking at apartments, he didn't even know that they were doing it.

It meant the area that Billy and Steve were using was actually pretty big, although not big enough to fit two big beds, and Steve had some limits, because he had been sleeping in a king sized bed since he was eight.

"I know it sucks, but there would be no room in here if you got a double bed as well. I'm already down sizing by going to a double from my king, so...We're all making sacrifices here," Steve stated when Billy looked between the two beds in the room. He acted as though what he had said was _it_ , but really, if Billy had any problems with it, he would relent and somehow get another double bed in even if it meant that there was barely enough room to turn around in. Billy didn't say anything, he just took a few steps forward and then collapsed forward onto the bed, dragged a duvet over him and fell asleep within minutes, even though it was only four in the afternoon.

For the first week, Steve was worried that things were just going to continue the exact same way that they had been when they were living at his childhood home. Billy in bed _all the time_ , with Steve bringing him food and leaving glasses of water beside his bed, only coming out to use the toilet or take a shower. It definitely started that way, and Steve had to sleep on top of all of his blankets with no shirt on since there was the heater going almost all day and all the windows and curtains and doors were shut, so there was absolutely _no_ fresh air circulating in their shared room. But then he came back from a run one morning, just after seven-thirty in the morning, and the sliding door to their room was pushed all the way open and there was _talking_ coming from the room.

"Max?" Steve questioned, because she was the only person that he could think who would be over this early and talking to _Billy_ at this hour, but as he pulled his headphones off and jerked his walkman off the band of his shorts, he saw that it was Robin in their room. "Robin?" Steve looked at the bed, and Billy was still there, blankets all in a pile on top of him, and she was at the windows, pulling open the curtains. The next thing she did was lean down to grab the cord, where the heater was plugged in, and jerked it out of the wall, so that the whirring sound stopped and the little red light turned off.

"First of all," Robin turned around, so that her back was to the window and she could see both Billy laying in bed and Steve standing up in the doorway. "I know it gets cold, but _everyone's_ cold, because it's _winter_ , and there are other ways to stay warm. We literally cannot afford to have the heater going at all hours of the day and night. There's only two of us working, and the pay is pretty shit, we can't have it all go to pay for a heater to just be running all the time."

"I can pay the heating bill," Steve quickly offered to try and smooth things over but Robin just shot him a glare.

"Second of all," she continued, raising her voice a little, and there was no way that Billy was sleeping through this. "These curtains need to be opened in the day. We're coming into winter, and I know there's not much sun, but during the day time, curtains are _open_. Where there is sun, we have to enjoy it." There was a very pointed look at Steve, which was dumb, because Steve had literally _just_ been outside in the tiny amount of sun that the day was providing.

"You're so loud," came a low grumble from the bed, and Steve's eyes widened, since they were the first words he'd heard from Billy since last week, when they'd moved in.

"And _third_ ," Robin held up three fingers. "Steve and I work full time at a _job_. A stupid ass job, but it's still a job. So that means that while you're home by yourself all day..." now she was looking very pointedly at the bed, even though Billy's head was half buried in pillow, half buried under the blankets. "You need to be opening the windows so the apartment is aired out. Vacuuming the floor if it needs it. Doing the dishes. Putting the washing on and then putting it away."

"Wait—what?! Wait—" Steve wasn't sure why his chest was suddenly tightening and he was feeling downright _panicked_. It actually felt similar to the anxiety attacks that he used to get frequently after everything happened the first time, and he wanted to put himself between Robin and Billy. Dump more blankets over the boy in the bed and protect him from all these adult responsibilities that Robin was trying to pile onto him.

This was a lot for Billy.

He had _been_ through a lot.

That was why he was staying with Steve, because Steve could keep him away from stress and parents and _reality_ , and he had explained all of this to Robin _multiple times_ when they had first talked about living together and he said that wherever he went, he would take Billy for as long as he needed because Billy needed someone looking after him.

And now she was setting rules and creating stress which was something that Billy _didn't need_.

"There are three of us here, so there needs to be three of us pulling the weight," she stated.

" _I_ can do more of the dishes if that's what the issue!" Steve tried to say but Robin just narrowed her eyes at him, so that clearly wasn't the response she had been after.

"No," she stated. "Three of us living here, three of us pull the weight." Steve didn't say anything, but part of him was starting to think that moving in with Robin was a terrible idea, and that maybe he should have just stayed at home and kept Billy there. He hadn't seemed to be getting any better, but at least he was safe and he didn't have people _yelling_ at him. Steve was about to argue at Robin, tell her to get out of their room, when there was another grumble from the bed.

"Okay."

Robin smiled, arching an eyebrow at Steve before stalking out.

* * *

It got _better_.

Steve would never, _ever_ have imagined a year ago that he would be living with the chick who always used to sit at the front of the room in Ms Click's class and the guy who had broken a plate over his head, but here he was, and it seemed to be working. Max spent a lot of time at their apartment as well, and when her and Lucas Sinclair were in their _on_ periods of their frequent on-off relationship, Lucas was there as well. Nancy came over at least once a week, and Mike was there a couple evenings a week with Dustin. Steve had brought the TV from his room at his parents house and it was the biggest out of all the kids parents TVs, so they often came over to watch movies, crowding the room that really _should_ be a bedroom and eating popcorn and yelling at each other.

It took a while, but then Billy started joining them. He didn't talk much, and he would always sit separately, but Steve was just glad that he was finally spending time around _people_ , even if he never left the apartment.

Billy did what Robin had asked; he started helping out around the apartment. In fact, he actually went above and beyond what she asked—almost every day that they got home from work, the house was in better condition than when they had left. Robin's room was never touched, thank god, or else she would flip, but Steve and Billy's room was always straightened out, dirty clothes in the laundry basket, bed made, shoes in the cheap rack that Robin had picked up for Steve after she had kept on tripping over the shoes that kept spilling through the doorway. The furniture was in place and the dishes were done and any washing was either washed and put away or washed and hanging on the clothing rack on their tiny balcony. And more recently, he had started cooking. Basic meals at first, but then library books started showing up with more intricate recipes, brought to the apartment by Max, and their shopping lists got a bit longer with Billy's scrawl adding ingredients for whatever he wanted to try cooking that week, and the dishes got a bit fancier.

He seemed to really like it cooking, and when Steve had been eating the apricot and cream cheese chicken he had made and he had been moaning around his fork and telling Billy what a good job he had done, he was pretty sure that he saw Billy smile.

Even if it was only for a split second, he would take it.

Steve had started looking at other places to work, because _Family Video_ was eventually going to make him drive his car off a cliff, and Nancy and Robin both helped him with his CV, and he handed it in at a bunch of entry level jobs without much hope. He told Robin to apply for jobs as well—she had much more of a chance at getting one than _he_ did, but she said that she didn't want to get too comfortable in Hawkins and stay there, she was only there for the year to get some money behind her, and then she was gone. He came home from an interview one afternoon, wearing a suit that his mother had brought him last year for some family event, and Billy's eyebrows had lifted when he had come into the apartment, cheeks going a surprisingly light shade of pink, before he had quickly looked away.

They all got regular updates about El, Jonathan and Will. There were lots of walkie-talkie conversations and long-distance phone calls and post cards that went back and forth. El seemed to have started drawing a lot more, something that Steve remembered Will doing a lot of and he wondered if he was the one who influenced her, and she would draw little pictures on her postcards, a different one for each person.

Every post card that Steve saw appear in their apartment, either one that was sent to him, or to Billy—there had even been two for Robin in the months that had passed, although they had been brief—he couldn't help but think about how proud Hopper would have been of El. _And_ of Joyce, Jonathan and Will. Hopper had never really been the best at talking about his feelings, that had always been very clear, but there had always been blatant affection on his face whenever he had looked at El or anyone in the Byers family, especially Joyce. He knew that he wouldn't have trusted anyone else to look after El, and that she was with the people she belonged with, even if it meant that they weren't in Hawkins.

Steve wasn't good when it came to letters, but the post cards were okay, it meant he didn't have to write heaps.

Christmas and New Years had passed, and then Valentines was approaching, and most people were moping for one reason or another. Max and Lucas were in an _off_ phase again, and Lucas was desperately trying to make it up to her— _it_ being whatever it was he had stepped in this time. Dustin was grousing because he and his darling Suzie had broken up because the long distance thing wasn't working out and there was a new girl that he was crushing on but she seemed steadfastly uninterested. Mike was pouting because El wasn't living in Hawkins anymore, which meant he was _alone_ for Valentines Day, but also because he was missing Will Byers. Nancy was upset because she meant to go out to see Jonathan for the weekend, except then she had to work the weekend shift, and he couldn't come down to see her because his car had broken down again. Steve was feeling a little off because this was the first Valentines since he was a teenager where he didn't have a date, but he wasn't as bad as the others.

Although Robin and Billy didn't seem to care.

Billy didn't seem to care about much _anyway_ , and Robin had stated that she thought Valentines Day was bullshit and she was only in it for the free chocolate the day after the fourteenth passed.

Steve went out to a bar, a few blocks away from their apartment that night. It was a bit depressing, drinking in a bar by himself on Valentines Day, but there were a lot of other people there, so at least he wasn't alone. He wasn't twenty-one yet, but he was close enough, and he put down double the price of the drink by way of a tip, so the bartender didn't care when slipping a scotch across the bench. A woman with curly hair came over and talked to him, and then a woman who was at _least_ ten years older came over and Steve smiled and chatted with them but he really wasn't _interested_.

Then this guy with blonde curls ordered a beer and sat down in the bar stool next to him and nodded up to the old Western that was playing on the TV and they talked for a _long_ time. The guy turned to the side so that his knees were pressing against Steve's thigh, and they took turns paying for drinks and a side of fries and fried chicken, and the whole thing was easy and comfortable and Steve's shoulders felt looser than they had in weeks. Then the guy touched his fingers to the back of Steve's hand, and then his shoulder and Steve realized what was happening in one big flash.

And then that was it.

It wasn't that big of a deal, just something that had taken him aback.

He was interested in a man.

Just maybe...Maybe not this _man_.

Because the blonde curls were a little too tight, and the lips were a little too thin, and the eyes were a little too dark, and the skin was a little too pale.

Because the man that Steve was interested in was _Billy_.

Steve stayed at the bar for about another ten minutes after he realized that, finishing his drink and the onion rings that he had ordered, and swinging his own bar stool around to try and force some distance between himself and the guy. Not because the other guy wasn't good looking and that it wouldn't be fun to maybe experiment a little with apparently this whole new part of himself that Steve had just discovered, but because he really needed to get back to his apartment and talk to someone he trusted. So he said goodbye, and the guy looked a little disappointed, and then nearly tripped over his own feet as he stumbled out of the bar, because he had drunk more than what he had realized. He got back to their apartment and fumbled with the key a few times before Robin suddenly opened the door and was looking at him with expectant and slightly annoyed eyes.

"I need to talk to you," Steve blurted out and she just nodded slowly. Steve fell into the apartment and Robin closed the door and locked it behind him. The sliding door for Steve and Billy's shared room was shut, which wasn't too unusual most nights when it was just the three of them home, because Billy would generally still go to bed early, and there was a bluish light coming from the lounge, so Robin must have been watching TV.

"Lounge?" Robin asked. "Or my room?"

"Your room," Steve stated and Robin nodded, leading the way to her room and closing the door behind them. Steve didn't come into Robin's room often, but it smelt nice—a bit too flowery for his taste, but that was fine—and he flopped down on her bed, taking in a few deep breaths.

"You drunk, Steve?" Robin laughed and Steve grinned over at her.

"Damn right I am, Robin," he replied. "And I found something out."

And so he told her. It came out a bit messily, and sometimes she couldn't actually hear him because he didn't want to risk talking too loud and be heard by Billy, even though there were two closed doors separating them, but she seemed to get the gist of it pretty quickly. Steve was attracted to a _man_ , and he had actually been kind of attracted to the man in the bar as well, but only physically, not enough to go home with him, because he was _more_ attracted to the guy he shared a room with. But then he quickly rushed on, saying that he still liked _women_ , he still thought Robin was pretty, and he knew that he still had definitely loved Nancy, so he wasn't like Robin, just liking the same gender, that maybe he liked both, and he didn't understand that. Robin just watched and smiled and then rolled over so that she was tucked up against his side and threw an arm around him.

"You can like whoever the fuck you want, Stevie," she told him quietly. "You know I don't care." And Steve let out a heavy sigh, because he really shouldn't have been worried, but he had been, even in his inebriated state. "Oh, and Steve?" She continued as Steve closed his eyes and started falling asleep. "I knew you had it bad for Billy. You're so protective of him, it's disgusting." Steve was going to argue, but his head was fuzzy and it had been a _long night_ filled with self discovery and a lot of alcohol, and so he ended up falling asleep.

* * *

Once Steve had realized that he was attracted to Billy, everything just seemed to get harder.

It wasn't like with Nancy, where things were all simple, and everything was easy, and he was popular and he knew exactly what to say and do and he could invite her around to hang out in his pool and it wasn't like with Robin, where it had just hit him out of nowhere when they were high on drugs and he realized what a badass she was as they puked their guts out in the bathroom.

It was different.

It was delicate.

Billy was vulnerable, even all of these months later, he wasn't the guy that Steve had met two years ago, or the guy that he had studiously avoided once he had graduated high school and gotten the jobs at _Scoops Ahoy_ and Billy had gotten one at the local community pool. He was completely different now; his mind and body had been taken over, he'd been forced to do horrible things, his background and all the memories he had had been dredged up and put on display.

That was the only reason he was even letting Steve look after him, all these months later, the only reason he was letting himself be seen in this position, and Steve couldn't take advantage of that.

So he had to be careful, and Steve wasn't too good with careful, which meant that he just started avoiding Billy all together.

Which was _very_ difficult when he literally slept a few feet away from him.

Steve got a job as a receptionist at a law firm that had just gone up outside of Hawkins. It was a bit of an odd place for a law firm, sort of in the middle of nowhere, but that was also apparently the good thing about it, because it meant that they were the only big firm around, so they got a lot of business. His father still put money in his account, so he was able to buy a few more suits, and he was actually pretty good at his job. He got along with the people he worked with and it turned out he had a good phone voice and was pretty competent at making appointments and helping to relay messages to irate clients over the phone. He was the youngest one working there, and the youngest male _by far_ which meant that he spent most of his time with the female paralegals and other secretaries, and most of them were hilarious and liked to catch him up on the office gossip, and it wasn't a bad way to spend his time.

"Looking hot, Harrington!" Came a hoot from Robin one Friday afternoon that he came home, in a new suit, light blue with a baby pink button down shirt and Steve was going to roll his eyes at her, but once he actually stepped into the apartment, he came to a complete stop in the kitchen.

Because Billy was sitting in a chair in the middle of the kitchen, a towel wrapped around his neck, his hair brushed out and not quite as matted and knotted as usual, and Robin had a big pair of silver scissors in her hand. Billy looked nervous, and even under the scraggly beard he had going on, Steve could see that he was biting away at his full bottom lip.

"What's going on here?" Steve asked, his eyes flicking between the two as he carefully stepped around the chair, avoiding all contact with Billy.

"Billy's finally letting me cut his hair," Robin announced. "However, I'm no good with beards. I think that's where you might need to come in, Stevie," she winked at him, and there was definitely something more to the wink that just some friendly jesting, and Steve knew that, so he glared at Robin and headed straight to the bathroom. He closed the door firmly behind him and then leaned his head against it.

Living with Robin had probably been the best thing for Billy. She managed to get him to come out of his shell, get him to move around the apartment and _do_ things rather than just stay in his bed. And now letting her cut his hair—that was a big thing, given how against it he had seemed at the beginning.

It made Steve feel bad, and then he felt guilty for how bad he felt, because he shouldn't feel that way.

He should be happy that someone was getting through to Billy, no matter who it was.

Steve shrugged out of his suit, not caring as it crumbled on the ground even though he was becoming a lot more careful with his things recently, now that he was the one who was ironing them and getting wrinkles out, with some help from Robin. Then he got into the shower, turning it on hot, and tried to wipe his mind of any thought.

But then he started thinking about Billy, in the bathroom with him, shaving his face carefully, Billy's head tipped back so that his throat was exposed, so much trust in Steve's hand as he worked a razor over the fuzz on Billy's skin, leaving him smooth and bare, fresh and new.

His cock started filling, and it wasn't as though he could just put these thoughts to rest and then get off tonight, because he shared a bedroom now, for the first time in his life. So after soaping up his hair, the lavender suds sliding over his shoulders and down his chest, his hand started scratching lightly through his pubic hair, feeling soap bubbling in his fingers. He wrapped his hand around his cock, the soap making the slide easy and his spine tighten and his toes curl into the wet shower floor underneath him, and he bit down hard on his lower lip to stop himself from making any sound. He came in a thick, sticky mess over his fingers and stomach, and his body shook as he leaned against the side of the shower, taking in a few deep breaths.

* * *

"Steve?" Mike's voice sounded a little strange, which sort of made sense, since Mike and Steve didn't really talk one-on-one all that much. In group settings, yeah, there was some of it, a bit of back and forth between them that involved others as well, but not so much like this. Mike had come over on Saturday afternoon, when Lucas and Max were at a new skate park that had gone up about a month ago and Dustin was helping some kid in their class with their Math homework and Robin was at work, so it was just Billy and Steve at the apartment. But Billy was sitting on his bed, flipping through some books that Max had brought him from the library, and Steve had been on the deck, smoking a cigarette and watching people in the park when Mike had let himself in through the front door with the spare key that the kids knew was on top of the door frame.

"What's up?" Steve raised an eyebrow as Mike screwed up his nose as a stream of smoke was blown in his face. For a moment, it looked like he was going to stop himself from talking, but then he took in a deep breath, making an uncomfortable expression and screwing up his nose as he did so.

"Do you think that you can love two people at once?" He asked, and it completely wasn't what Steve was expecting and his whole body jerked and the cigarette fell from between his fingers and over the edge of the balcony, down the three storeys below. He blinked and looked at Mike, and Mike was staring back at him, jaw jutted forward determinedly but eyes looking very uncertain.

"I—well, I..." Steve swallowed hard, hand curling around the metal barrier. "Yeah, I think so."

"Yeah?" Mike asked before letting out a heavy breath.

"Yeah," Steve shrugged a shoulder. "I mean...Love is weird. It's different—for everyone. People try to put rules and stigmas and shit around it, but...There _aren't_. Not when it comes to gender or numbers or whatever. I've never been in love with two people at once, but I'm sure you can be," he shrugged again.

"Are you in love now?" Mike asked and Steve let out a huff.

"Yeah, I think so," he replied.

"With Robin?" He asked and Steve let out a laugh that time, remembering not for the first time, that he was one of the only people that actually knew about his and Robin's relationship, and Robin's particular interest in people _not_ of the male persuasion. He actually wondered if he was the _only_ person who knew, sometimes, but he didn't bring it up, leaving it to her to decide when she wanted to discuss it.

"No, not with Robin," he replied. Mike didn't ask him anymore questions, but when he left, he seemed a lot more relaxed than he had been when he got there. Steve caught a glimpse of him a few moments later when he biked down the street, legs all gangly and a bit too big for the bike that he had been riding for the past two summers. His smile was a little hesitant, there was nervousness in the pit of his stomach at what he had just admitted, even though Mike had no idea who he was talking about. But he was pretty sure it was true, and there was nothing he could do about it, so there was nothing else to it.

Billy was looking at him when he came into the kitchen to fill up a glass of water before settling down to watch something in the lounge, and he realized that the windows of their shared bedroom were open, which meant it was likely he had heard everything that he and Mike had discussed, since their room was about level with the balcony outside the lounge. Billy hadn't said anything, though, he'd just watched as Steve filled up a glass of water, big blue eyes tracking his movements as Steve had gone back to the lounge.

He was watching the latest episode of _MacGuyver_ when Billy came to the doorway. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants that were definitely Steve's, since Max had only managed to smuggle out some of his clothes out of the house before Neil had wanted everything thrown out of the house and donated to wherever would take them, and an oversized shirt, and he had a blanket around his shoulders. His shoulders were kind of hunched forward, but at least his back didn't have the same bow to it that it did last year, when Steve had first taken him in. His hair looked better as well, washed and shorter, shorter than Steve had ever actually seen it, although his beard was still a little out of control, and his eyes didn't look as haunted as they had before, the dark rings around them almost completely gone. Even his skin looked healthier, although he didn't go outside from what Steve knew, other than sitting on their balcony.

"You're not in love with Robin?" Billy asked, his voice rough from disuse, because even though he was helping out a lot around the apartment, and sometimes sitting with them when they watched TV, didn't mean that he was talking all that much. Steve blinked over at Billy, so it was obvious that he heard him and Mike, and he didn't know what to say. Then he realized that blinking was sort of his go-to reaction whenever anyone stumped him, and it made him _really_ readable, so he should probably work on that.

"Um..." he cleared his throat and then swallowed back a mouthful of water. "No."

"Is it because she prefers gals to guys?" Billy asked, and Steve's lips parted in surprise.

"Did she tell you that?" He asked, eyes wide, and Billy shook his head. Steve wished that he had replied verbally, because this was the most of a conversation that they had had since October last year, when Steve and the others had found them. "Then why do you think that?"

"Can just tell," Billy replied and Steve's eyes widened even more in surprise.

"Okay," Steve pursed his lips together, and he knew he was going to have to talk to Robin tonight, so that she knew that Billy knew about her. He wasn't saying it like it was a bad thing or something that he was going to throw in her face, because Steve was pretty sure Billy wasn't that type of person, but it was still something that she needed to know. "Okay, well...I mean, that's not the reason that I'm not in love with her. I _liked_ her for a bit, but then there was a lot of other stuff that was going on, and someone else came a long, and so I just—" Steve cut himself off as he realized that he was rambling and he took in a deep breath. "I'm not in love with Robin," he clarified. Billy stared at him for a long time and then looked down at the ground, at his bare feet on the carpet. "Do you...Do you want to watch TV with me?" Steve asked, shuffling a little on the couch so that he wasn't in the middle anymore, moving more to the side, hopefully in an inviting manner.

Billy didn't say anything for a moment, and then he came over and sat down on the couch, sitting near the middle, not on the far side, so that there was barely any room between him and Steve at all. Steve felt his chest tighten, and given his legs were pulled up on the couch, his toes were pressing against Billy's thigh. Billy didn't move away from them, though. He just sat there, and after about half an hour, when the show had finished and something else was playing, he moved his hand so that it was resting on Steve's foot, and then he fell asleep, head resting against the back of the couch.

* * *

The night terrors that Billy had gotten had never stopped after they had moved from Steve's house to the new apartment, although they weren't as frequent. Neither Robin or Steve had expected them to stop, of course, because things like that didn't just _stop_ , especially with everything they had all been that Steve knew exactly what Billy had been through, but from his own experience, he knew that after the _first_ time they had been through all this Upside Down mess, he had needed a big change in his situation before his sleep had started to become more balanced again and the anxiety attacks hadn't happened as often. Funnily enough, it had actually been Nancy breaking up with him, and fighting with Billy, and getting close to the brats, and then going through things _all over again_ that had been his change in situation.

He didn't want that for Billy though.

He didn't want Billy to have to go through some big upheaval to shake things up in his head, because he was getting better slowly, in his own way.

Sleeping in the same room as Billy when he screamed into his pillow wasn't easy, but Steve never knew what to say or do. Most of the time he just stayed in his own bed, breathing heavily into the pillow, sometimes feeling tears streak down his face, fingers curled like claws into the sheet over him, blanket shoved down around his ankles since the heater was going at full strength in the corner. Sometimes he would sit up and say Billy's name a few times to see if he could wake him up or there had been other times when he had gone to sleep on the couch, having to close the doors between them to try and get some sleep. It wasn't perfect, even with the closed doors and the walls between them, both Steve and Robin could still hear Billy, but they did what they had to.

Tonight just felt different, though.

Steve wasn't sure why.

He wasn't sure if it was because Billy had been making a point of watching TV with him everyday now, sitting next to him even if they were the only ones on the couch, some part of their bodies touching, even if it was just a few fingers or a foot.

Or if it was because he mentioned two nights ago that he was craving the lamb shanks that his mother had made a few times when he was younger—when she needed to be around because he couldn't be left alone—and then last night, Billy had made them lamb shanks, obviously asking Robin to get all of the ingredients.

Or if it was because when Dustin, Erica and Mike had all shown up today, he had actually said hello to all of them before going back to their shared bedroom.

Or if it was because tonight, about an hour before they had gone to bed, he had quietly, roughly, asked Steve to help him with his beard because he didn't have anything of his own.

Steve had wondered first if Billy was just asking to borrow his stuff, because Billy borrowed _a lot_ of his stuff. In all honesty, most of the money that was coming from his father each month that was going toward things for their apartment was going toward things for Billy, since he didn't have anything. Things like clothes and books, since he seemed to like reading so much, and more blankets and pillows and shoes and just—just _things_ since Billy didn't have them, and didn't have money to pay for them.

But then when they got into the bathroom, Billy sat down on the edge of the bathtub, swallowing hard and looking up at Steve with big, trusting eyes, and Steve realized that he was actually asking for Steve's help _with_ his stuff. So he used the same scissors that Robin had used for his hair to carefully cut down the beard to a more manageable length, and then he wet Billy's cheeks with one of the face cloths dipped under the running tap and foamed it up with shaving cream and slowly started shaving. Steve vaguely remembered Billy having a little facial hair on his upper lip when he was working at the local pool and when he had been possessed, but he didn't bother with any of that, just slowly stroking the razor down Billy's face, one smooth stroke at a time, taking more care than he ever had with his own face.

Billy had just sat there, eyes fluttering shut, body swaying a little from the pressure of Steve's hand on his shoulder and the razor against his face.

Now it was four hours later, based on the glowing lights from the analog clock on Steve's bedside table, and Billy was throwing himself around on his bed, screaming and shouting unintelligible words, tearing at his skin and the bedding around him.

Steve swallowed hard as he pushed back his blankets and sat up. Their sliding doors were solidly shut, and he knew Robin's door would be shut as well, something they had learned to do quickly after all moving in together, with the way Billy could be at night. He was only wearing a pair of a boxers and some socks, since he always let Billy have the heater on at night, and he licked his lips as he quietly crossed the room to Billy's bed, only tripping once over something that was on the ground, crouching down beside the twisting and turning man.

"Billy," his voice was soft as he put his hand on Billy's shoulder. His skin was clammy and over-heated, which was to be expected, given he had at least four blankets on top of him and the fan heater was going, right next to his bed. "Billy," he said again, squeezing his fingers a little into Billy's shoulder. The screaming stopped, but there were these whimpers that were coming out, soft and heart breaking and Steve had to swallow the lump in his throat, over and over again. "Billy," he repeated for a third time and suddenly the blondes eyes were open and there was a sharp breath being drawn in. In the hazy light coming in through their curtains, he could see dark eyelashes flickering.

"Steve," Billy breathed and his hand came out from under the covers to close over the top of Steve's hand on his shoulder. They were quiet for a long time, Billy slowing his breathing to match Steve's, and then Steve was talking without even really thinking about it.

Or he had _thought_ about it _many_ times, but he had also thought enough to himself that he needed to keep it quiet and not say it out loud.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" He offered quietly. "Do...Do you think it would help?" Billy's hand was still tight over his, and it didn't loosen or push him away at the suggestion, only silence. And then after a few minutes passed, and Steve was glad that he was still running and going to the gym and doing squats or else his thighs would be giving out in the position that he was crouching in, Billy made a sound at the back of his throat.

"Yeah," he murmured. "Yeah, please." Steve nodded quickly, his hair flopping around his face, and then Billy was wiggling over and Steve was sliding into the single bed next to him. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept in a single bed, and given neither of them were small, it wasn't exactly an easy fit, but they made it work. Billy was on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and Steve was on his side, facing Billy. Both of their bodies were tense as they evened out their breathing and tried adjust to sharing the bed. Steve was pretty sure he was just as tense as Billy was, not wanting to touch him and make him feel uncomfortable, his legs and ass nearly hanging off the bed, given how tiny it was. Steve swallowed hard, and closed his eyes, and was just thinking to himself _again_ that this was a terrible idea, when Billy spoke again, his voice still so quiet in the silent room. "Steve?"

"Yeah?" He replied, talking _way_ too quickly and loudly, wincing to himself in the dark.

"You can move closer," Billy murmured and Steve drew in a sharp breath through his teeth. He licked his tongue over his lower lip, glad that Billy couldn't see how nervous he was in the dark, and shuffled forward a little bit. His knees came into contact with Billy's thighs, and then Billy was rolling over and his back was to Steve, and Steve moved forward a little more and his knees were tucked behind Billy's, and if he just moved forward a bit more and lifted his arm to tuck it around Billy, then they would be properly spooning.

But that would be _way_ too much, so Steve carefully kept his arm at his side and after what felt like hours, managed to go back to sleep.

* * *

Around the time that Robin was looking through college brochures, Steve had to get glasses. They weren't to wear all the time, just when he was at work and staring at small writing, but still. He'd known that it was coming for a while—his father and nearly all of his father _and_ mothers family wore glasses, and even back in high school, sometimes when he was tired in class, things on the chalk board would get a bit blurry and he'd need to ask someone to tell him what they said. Steve's father had paid for them, telling Steve to put them on the 'emergency' credit card that Steve still had, and his father had then paid that back, and now he had an expensive pair of Gucci reading glasses that didn't actually looked too bad.

It was a Friday, which meant he stopped by the cemetery on the way home. He brushed away the leaves that had fallen from a nearby tree from Hopper's headstone, and noted the fresh flowers that were resting against the bottom of the headstone. They were pink and yellow, and when he leaned forward, they smelt good. He walked to Bob Newby's headstone as well, wiping down the headstone there too, and there were identical flowers there. He'd only met Bob a couple of times, but the guy had seemed nice enough. Joyce had really struggled to get back on her feet again after she had lost him—the woman had lost her youngest son and even when she had gotten him back, he'd been possessed—and then she had lost a man she loved, and she was still moving forward. Then she'd lost Hopper.

Maybe that was part of the reason that Steve decided to pay for flowers to be delivered to both headstones each month, about six weeks after Hoppers funeral. He was driving Will and El back to the Byers household, and Will had mumbled that he wanted to pick wildflowers to take to the cemetery, because his mum hadn't been able to afford to buy any in the past few weeks. The money wasn't a big deal to Steve, and the teary smile on Joyce's face when she had come to Steve's house to pick up Dustin, Will and Mike one afternoon, saying that someone had left beautiful flowers for both Hopper and Bob, had made Steve feel as though he was helping her heal in some small way.

It felt good for Steve as well. He and Hopper hadn't been particularly close—Hopper had arrested him a few times for drunk and disorderly and then fighting before, and then they'd obviously met a few times over the Upside Down problems. After El had come back, after she had closed the gate, Hopper had every now and then asked Steve to take things out to her if he was working late, and Steve was completely okay with that. Hopper obviously trusted him, even though he had never said it, and Steve liked this, and those first few months after he had died had been hard. What had made it harder was seeing El and Joyce grieve, and being able to do something to help them, by sending the flowers, it helped _him_.

When Steve got home and took a beer out of the fridge, the glasses still perched on his nose since he'd just picked them up that afternoon, and he made a face when he went into the lounge and saw all the brochures over their coffee table. Billy was in the room as well, which Steve was happy about, because Billy had been doing that a lot lately, spending time out of their bedroom for full days, sitting on the balcony with a pair of Steve's sunglasses on or in the lounge with one of them, even if he still didn't talk all that much.

"I still don't understand why you're wanting to go back to school," Steve made a face as he flopped down on the beanbag that had just appeared in their apartment a few weeks ago. One of the kids had brought it there, but he really wasn't sure which one.

"Yes, well, I don't understand why you decided it was a good idea to wear your old _Scoops Ahoy_ uniform to Halloween last year to try and get laid, but we all make weird decisions, don't we?" Robin replied dryly, still looking down at the coffee table. Steve rolled his eyes and then let out a laugh, because that Halloween had been one of the only times he had left the house with Billy in it, and it had been a terrible night, because all he had thought about was _Billy_. The actual reason that he had worn the old uniform is because it had been the only costume-looking thing he had in his house because he had forgotten about all about the Halloween party until Robin had rung him at told him that there was no way he was getting out of it.

"I guess we do, _Robin_ ," Steve reached over and dug her toes into her calf and she swatted him away with an impatient hand before shooting him a fond-exasperated look. Steve watched her for a moment, and for about half a second he thought about how different things would be if he had good enough grades to get into college. And then he spent the next few minutes thinking about how different his life would be if _Robin_ was gone, and off at college, and that was really, really awful. So he looked over at Billy, and his head jerked a little when he realized that Billy was staring right at him, with big blue eyes and surprisingly red cheeks.

Steve blinked and Billy's eyes seemed to get wider and then Robin let out a heavy sigh and picked up one of the glossy booklets.

"You're from Cali, right, Billy?" Robin said, turning to the side. Billy was still looking directly at Steve, but he nodded. "I think I might apply for school there," she hummed. "We should all move out there," she added, with a huff of a laugh, picking up the booklet and then leaving the room to go into the kitchen and get herself a drink.

She acted like it was a joke, but that sounded like the best idea Robin had had since she had suggested since they had moved in together.

* * *

Billy started talking more—Steve wasn't sure what had done it.

It was May and they were coming up to a year of the _event_ and the weather was warm and Billy was talking, and shaving, and there was even the occasional smile, and there were longer periods of times where he was sleeping without screaming and then he mentioned to Steve that he wanted to leave the apartment. Steve _straight away_ felt as though he needed to take another one of his anxiety pills, but he forced himself to take a few deep breaths.

The thing was, Billy was his own person, and he had barely left the apartment or Steve's house except for a few midnight runs that he probably thought that Steve and Robin didn't know about. He went in the car sometimes when Steve just wanted to get out of Hawkins and drive aimlessly around, because he could put a cap on, and avoid any chance of his father or Susan seeing him, and he sat out on the balcony with sunglasses on, where no one could really see him properly up there. But he hadn't really just _left_ the apartment.

"You can...Go out whenever you want," Steve said, even though it was hard to say, because he just wanted Billy to stay in the apartment and be safe. There were no Russians, and the government officials were gone, and it was unlikely that Neil or Susan would see Billy if he was careful about the time he went out, but...Steve couldn't help it.

"Could I come out with you when you go for a run?" Billy asked, and his voice didn't have that same grittiness to it that it had had up until around two weeks ago, since he was talking more.

"Yeah...Of course," Steve said, leaning his hip against the counter top.

"Just, like, wake me up when you get up in the morning when you get up?" Billy's lips twitched a little, in a small smile, eyes glittering just a tiny bit enough to make Steve's stomach flutter and Steve nodded and smiled back. Then he looked back at the TV and missed the way Billy's eyes were lingering on him.

Billy had called El yesterday.

He had been awkward on the phone, and Robin had still been at work at the video store, and after giving Billy the little book that had all his phone numbers in it, Steve was going to go into the lounge and _pretend_ to do something while Billy talked to El. But Billy had grabbed his arm as he had made to get up from the bar stools to give Billy some privacy, and so Steve had stayed. The conversation had been stuttered, and while Steve couldn't hear El's side, he knew that she wasn't saying much, because Billy was chewing on his lip and it just seemed like there was long drawn out silences. In the end, Billy just apologized, over and over again, for everything that he had done for her, and then he had said that he knew that she was the one who had realized he was alive and out in the woods, all those months ago. And he had thanked her for that. Once they had hung up, he had breathed deeply, leaning against Steve heavily.

Steve knew that El didn't have the same powers as she had before, so he still wasn't sure how she had found Billy, but he was so grateful that she had.

Steve had wondered a few times now if Billy had some sort of powers, or _something_. Will had this weird sixth-sense ever since his encounter with the Upside Down, and Billy had been connected to the Mind Flayer and he had managed to get inside El's head and even trap her there for a little bit—it would make sense that he would have _some_ kind of power, but Steve wasn't going to ask. He didn't want to be the one to throw Billy back into the place that he had clawed his way out.

So the next morning, when his alarm went off at six, he woke Billy up before he got dressed. They clothed themselves in the dark, and then they went for a run together.

It was the slowest that Steve had run in years, because Billy's body just couldn't keep up, but he didn't give a single shit.

* * *

Apparently Susan had seen Billy around the town, maybe on one of his runs with Steve, which were becoming more frequent, maybe on one of his trips to the grocery store with Robin, which he was now making an effort to do weekly to 'help her out and pull his weight'—his words, not hers. Max came over and her cheeks were flushed and her hair looked a little frizzier than usual, and Billy had looked _really_ worried, telling her to drink a glass of water.

It was endearing.

Robin snorted and said that it was the same way the Steve looked at Dustin when he got all flustered and worked up.

And Steve was surprised, in all honesty, because he thought that Billy would be a bit more worried when Max showed up and said that Susan had seen him and told Neil. Max and El had told him about things that Neil had done to Billy over the years, and over the past few months Billy had even told him a couple of things. Some of them had happened when he was totally lucid and they were on the couch, sharing a cigarette and talking quietly. Some of them happened in the middle of the night when Steve had woken Billy up after Billy had been screaming, and they were lying in the tiny single bed together, and Billy whispered things that had haunted him growing up. But now, hearing that his father knew that he was still in Hawkins, even though Max had tried to throw the adults off his trail, Steve expected Billy to be panicking a little bit.

But he just shrugged.

"Well, you said that we were gonna move to Cali when you got into college, right?" Billy said as he looked over at Robin and for once, the girl looked caught off guard, stealing a page out of Steve's book and blinking in surprise at Billy. Steve's eyebrows shot up as well, because he could admit that he had been thinking about Robin's off-handed remark a lot but he hadn't spoken to anyone about it. He'd just obsessed about it quietly, while he wasn't obsessing about Billy.

"I..." Robin narrowed her eyes for a moment, thinking quickly and then shrugging, her face looking completely at ease as she leaned back on the beanbag. "Yeah, we are," she replied and Steve's eyes got even wider as he looked between them. Max and Lucas could obviously see the way his mouth was hanging _all the way open_ and Steve honestly didn't know what he was supposed to say, since he couldn't even bring himself to close his mouth, so he didn't say anything. Billy also looked over at him, and he looked a bit confused as to why Steve looked so confused, but he just shrugged a shoulder.

"Would be good if I still had my car, though," he stated, and it was the first time Billy had mentioned his car since everything had happened. "Was pretty much the only good thing that I had brought with me from Cali." Max head jerked as she looked toward Steve, and Steve suddenly felt _really_ good that he could give something to Billy.

Not dumb clothes or a new razor or letting him run the heater all night or take all of the blankets off Steve's bed.

"I have your car!" Steve blurted out and Billy's big eyes swung to him. "I—I mean, I don't have it _here_ , but it's at my parents place! In the back garage. It's still kind of smashed in and stuff, and it'll need some work, but it's been kept somewhere dry and safe, and it's all yours! I mean, of course it's yours—" Steve was rambling and he kind of sounded like an idiot, but then Billy was tackling him into the couch, his arms wrapped around him, and even though they had shared a bed multiple times at this point, they had never really had _this_ much contact. Billy hugged him hard and long, and Steve's throat felt as though it was clogging up.

"Thanks, Steve," Billy whispered, as though Robin, Max and Lucas weren't all staring at them with wide eyes.

"You're welcome," Steve replied quietly, swallowing hard and only just resisting the urge to lift his fingers and brush a stray curl out of Billy's face. Billy's arms dropped, and Steve was pretty sure in his head he was imagining that Billy hesitated a little, and then the conversation shifted to Robin and what she wanted to study at college, but Billy was still sitting close to Steve on the couch, their thighs pressed together and there was a stupid smile on Steve's face.

That night, when they were going to bed, Steve was pushing the sliding doors shut while just wearing a pair of shorts because it was summer and because Billy still slept with the heater on and all the doors and windows shut, so their room got stupidly hot, Billy cleared his throat.

"Uh," he began quietly, sitting up in his single bed and scratching at the back of his neck. Steve looked at him, his hand paused over the light switch. "You can leave the heater off...If you want," he sounded uncertain but he jutted his chin forward determinedly, and it was one of those few glimpses that Steve got of the Billy that had been there before. He couldn't say that he wasn't _nervous_ about Billy healing and returning to his normal self, because it wasn't as though he and Steve had exactly got on then, but he was still glad, because he wanted to Billy to get better, even if it meant that they would lose whatever connection they had.

"You sure?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow, landing the question directly back on Billy, which was something he wouldn't have done if Billy had said that a few weeks ago. But Billy had been getting better, and _he_ was the one who always wanted the heater on so if _he_ wanted to sleep with it off then he needed to say that.

"Yeah. You can leave it off," Billy repeated, voice sounding a little more steady this time. Steve nodded and he turned off the light quickly so that Billy didn't see the proud smile on Steve's face. As Steve was walking in the dark toward his bed, Billy spoke up again. "You know I owe you everything, right?" And Steve tripped over his feet promptly at that, tumbling toward his bed, and there was a snort from Billy's side of the room and Steve knew that his face was burning bright red. "I'm serious," he added, and it sounded as though he was struggling to find the words to say, which made sense, given he had only recently really started talking again _and_ Billy had never struck Steve as the type of guy who thanked people. "I don't...I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't taken me in." Steve swallowed hard, and his cheeks burned hot in the dark.

"You—" Steve's voice sounded gruff. "You would have been okay. You're a fighter." Before, during _and_ after the Mind Flayer, _that_ had always been abundantly obvious. "I mean, Robin helped the most. She's the one who managed to get through to you. I had no idea what to do, and it wasn't until we moved in here that you started getting better." He was babbling again, like he had when he had told Billy about the car, and he heard the rustle of blankets, and the creak of the wooden floors, but he didn't realize that Billy had been crossing the room because he was looking down at the blanket and it wasn't until the mattress shifted underneath him that he realized that Billy was sitting on the bed in front of him. "I've always been pretty shit with people," he let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I didn't know how to help you or what to do, but Robin seemed to really help you and that was good because I had no idea what to do—" he was broken off by Billy's hands firmly on his cheeks. He looked up and suddenly _really_ wished that he hadn't turned off the lights so that he could see Billy's face, because they'd never been this close before.

Billy was right in front of him, Steve could feel his warm breath against his cheeks, and from the light coming through their thin curtains, he could just making out the shape of some of Billy's curls, which were getting a little unruly again. He wanted to be studying the curl of his thick eyelashes and his gorgeous blue eyes and his full pink lips, but instead, he had to settle for Billy's calloused hands against his face and his breath gently tickling his lips.

"It wasn't Robin," Billy told him quietly, fingers gently pressed against his cheeks. "I mean, she's great, but...It wasn't Robin. I mean, Robin helped, but... _You're_ the one who got through to me. You and Max. And I think El as well. You were the one who helped me every night, and brought me food and stayed with me and then...I know it's not Robin whose paying my part of the rent and electricity here. And buying me clothes and whatever I fucking put on the grocery list. Don't put yourself down. Not many...Not many people would do what you did," it was his turn to let out a hard laugh. "Especially for me."

Steve had lost count of how many times he had blinked at Billy throughout his little speech, and he was _incredibly_ aware of Billy's hands _still_ on his face. He lifted a hand, resting it over one of Billy's, curling his fingers in a little, and Billy leaned in closer, until his forehead was resting against Steve's. The whole moment felt intimate and sweet and Steve stupidly felt like crying. Their breaths were shared, and they just sat there in the dark, leaning against each other, and then Steve felt Billy's nose gently nudge his. It was so soft, Billy's movements so slow, and then his lips were brushing so, so lightly over Steve's mouth, it was like a whisper, a secret shared in the dark.

Then he pulled back, and the warm hands on Steve's face dropped and he was moving back to his own bed.

* * *

It had been a whole year now.

A year since they had realized where the bodies of the people who disappeared were going. It had been a year since the _Starcourt Mall_ had been invaded. It had been a year since Billy had almost died. It had been a year since Robin and Steve had been tortured by the Russians. It had been a year since the Mind Flayer had attacked. It had been a year since Hopper had let himself be sacrificed.

They were all still healing, some with scars more obvious than others.

The kids were the strongest ones, Steve guessed that it was because they had gone through this _so many times_ now, although that in itself was _horrifying_ to think of. And he'd been through it as well, _three times_ , but they'd been through it from the start. He didn't know how they did this. At least now he had people that he could talk to about it, unlike the first two times, when he could only really talk to Nancy, and he hadn't been strong enough to tell her how lost and hopeless he had been feeling. All of his bruises have healed, and his face look exactly the way it had before he had been assaulted. But he had to take pill each morning to help him keep calm, and he knew Robin had sleeping tablets on the nights that it got really bad. He actually thought that he had come out pretty unscathed, a lot better than the first two times actually, the nightmares nowhere near as bad as they used to be.

Dustin and Max and the other kids helped him, as much as they helped each other, in the way that they would come over to their apartment and invade their space with noisiness and mess. They didn't come over as much as they used to, even though they were in the holidays again now, and in a way Steve missed it, but he liked having their own space as well, him, Robin and Billy. Max was still over three or four times a week, with Lucas in tow, and Dustin showed up at least once a week, and there seemed to be a movie week once fortnight where Erica Sinclair came as well, but they were all growing up as well. And that helped Steve.

His heart did go out for them, though, because he knew that they all drew their strength from one another—they always had—and now Will and El weren't there, and they were all feeling it.

He hoped that Joyce and El were doing okay, given this was one year since Hopper had died, and he made sure to go by the grave that morning and take around a fresh bunch of flowers around, and Robin came with him, her hand in his. They didn't say much while they were there, Robin chewing on her lower lip as she squeezed his hand and Steve took in a few deep breaths and thought for the umpteenth time that he wished he had gotten to know Hopper just a bit better. They walked back to Steve's car, silent as they drove back to their apartment, feeling a little better than he had than when he had woken up that morning.

Billy had his scars as well.

He never wore a singlet, even though it was hot, and Steve had never seen him without a shirt on—or even just _been_ around him when he had no shirt on in the dark, which was nothing like the Billy before. There had been a night when they were laying in bed and his shirt had ridden up, and Steve could feel the calloused skin against his hand, and Billy had immediately grasped his shirt and jerked it back down.

When El, Will and Jonathan had come back for a visit a few weeks ago, they had stopped by the apartment, and El and Billy hadn't really _talked_ , but they had sat next to each other for a long time, and Billy kept looking at El's neck, and there was a guilty expression on his face, and his fingernails were digging into the denim of his jeans over his thighs. Steve knew he was thinking back to the bruises around El's neck, and how he had been the one to put them there. They'd faded and disappeared, a long time ago, but the emotional damage was still there. Even a week or so after everything that had happened, El had had a hard time talking, saying that it still hurt, and Steve had been _livid_ when he had found out what had happened. It was clear from the look on Billy's face now that he still hadn't forgiven himself for what he had done, and for a few days after they had left, he went quiet again, hardly talking, and not going back to Steve's parents house to work on his car like he had been since Steve had told him it was there, but he seemed to manage to get himself back out of that funk all on his own. Steve was stupidly proud of him, but didn't say anything, because he didn't want it to look like he was treating him like a child.

And now it was the 4th of July, and the new mayor of Hawkins had decided that it was a good idea to throw _another_ carnival, because _Starcourt Mall_ 2.0 was being reopened in two weeks, and the town should celebrate making it through another year after everything they had been through, and all of the kids and Billy, Nancy, Robin and Steve absolutely refused to go. All of the kids were at Mike's, and Will and El were on the walkie-talkies as they all watched some movie together, Nancy and Jonathan would probably being gushing over the phone to each other and Robin was out on a date. She insisted it _wasn't_ a date, she was just visiting some _friend_ that she had met at the video store. But both Billy _and_ Steve insisted that if it was just a friend, she wouldn't have changed her outfit three times, and then demanded that Steve clean out his car before she borrowed it, because this _friend_ lived two towns away.

Billy and Steve were in their apartment with the TV going when the fireworks started. Billy jolted at the first explosion, loud even over the sound of their TV, since the doors onto their balcony were open. Steve watched as Billy turned his head to the side to look out the open door, toward where the fireworks were going off just to the side, maybe a three minute drive from their apartment building. His shoulders were tense, but after he let out a couple of heavy breaths, he seemed to calm himself down.

"You wanna watch them outside?" Steve suggested gently, the light from the TV reflecting in his glasses.

"Yeah," Billy said after a few moments. "I was busy last year," he glanced back at Steve with a strained, lopsided smile on his face, and Steve knew that he was attempting to make light of the situation. He just rolled his eyes, even though he internally grinned at Billy's attempt.

"That was a shitty joke and you know it, so I'm not giving you a laugh," Steve replied as he pushed off the couch and walked out onto the deck. He's pretty sure he heard a chuckle from Billy, which made his heart flutter, and he leaned his back against the wall of the apartment. Billy joined him, resting his hands on the railing and looking toward the colours that were exploding in the sky. Steve pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and propped one between his lips, then taking out a lighter and lighting up the end. The air was a bit sticky from the heat, and Steve was only wearing a pair of shorts. Billy was wearing shorts as well, but he was in a long sleeved shirt, one of Steve's, and he must have been hot. "Here," Steve muttered after a few moments, holding out his cigarette, and Billy turned and took it from him. Steve licked his lips nervously before he continued. "You know you don't have to wear long sleeves. Or even a shirt. It's fucking hot."

"That your way of trying to get me out of my clothes, Stevie?" Billy asked, and there was a lilt to it, his tone teasing, but Steve was stuck on the nickname, which he'd only heard Billy use a couple of times in the past few weeks. Billy looked away, though, so he didn't seem to see the way that Steve had stalled, blowing out a stream of smoke. "I'm used to the heat, it was a lot warmer than this all the time back in Cali." He inhaled once more before handing the cigarette back to Steve. Steve took it, had a few puffs before stubbing it out and stepping forward so that he was standing next to Billy, although he didn't rest his hands on the railing, the pair standing shoulder to shoulder.

"That's not what I meant," he said quietly and Billy tensed beside him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of." Billy swallowed hard and Steve heard the click in his throat, but he still didn't look at Billy, didn't let the weight of his eyes rest over the blonde. They kept watching the fireworks, until they were done, and they could hear the faint sounds of people cheering and yelling, and honestly, most of the town must have been at the carnival. He guessed that it was because most of the town had no idea what had happened last year on this night, believing the governments lies and cover-ups. None of the lights in the building opposite them were on, and there was no one on the street, with only one of the bars open, tacky streamers and balloons wilting in the windows.

"Steve?" Billy murmured and Steve hummed in response, before he realized that Billy was looking at him with heavy eyes and so Steve turned his head. His heart beat heavy in his chest as he turned his body to face Billy's, and then Billy was reaching up and pressing his lips to Steve's.

It wasn't hidden and brief like the first time, when they were in the bedroom and it was completely dark. There was light coming from the TV and from the light that they had on the kitchen, so it was coming through the doorway, and from the streetlights below them. And the kiss was certain and firm, Billy knew what he was pressing against Steve's mouth and wasn't hesitating, and he was sure of what he was doing as one of his hands came up and the fingers curled around Steve's bicep and Steve's stomach swooped at the motion. Billy was steady and warm, and his touch was grounding, and the blonde tilted his head slightly to the side and Steve tilted the other way and then Billy was parting his lips and just _inviting_ Steve in.

Steve leaned forward just a bit, the tip of his tongue tasting Billy's lips, not pushing Billy any faster than he was prepared to go. Billy tugged at his arm, pulled him more firmly so their bodies were pressed together, and Steve stepped forward, hands going to Billy's hips and pushing him back, until he was against the metal railing. He didn't push Billy _against_ it, because he really didn't trust how sturdy it was, especially with the way Dustin and Lucas would swing off it and undoubtedly test its strength, but he held him there, so that he was boxed in, and it feels familiar, similar to the way he would take the lead with girls—pressing them up against walls and cars—but it was also so, so different because this was a guy.

And this was _Billy_.

And the way that he felt about Billy could only be compared to the way that he had once felt about Nancy, except it was so much more than that. The way he felt about Nancy was what he thought was love, but the way he feels _now_ , about _Billy_ , he _knows_ that that's love.

The hand of the arm that Billy wasn't holding came up and it cupped Billy's face gently. He hadn't shaved that morning, so there were rough bristles on his face, and it was completely different from the smooth sensation kissing a girl, and Steve _liked_ that. He liked that the sensation of kissing Billy was completely different from what he had ever experienced before. Billy's mouth got a bit wider and Steve's tongue dipped inside, touching against Billy's, and then there was this moan from deep inside Billy's throat, and it was the _best sound Steve had ever heard_. Steve's hand moved, sliding around to the back of Billy's neck, gently cupping the back of his head and holding him close.

He was hard in the thin shorts he was wearing, and given how they were pressed together, he didn't doubt that Billy could feel it. With a hiss through his teeth, Steve pulled back and met Billy's eyes. Billy looked up at him questioningly.

"Want to go inside?" Steve asked. Billy hesitated for a moment, and then he glanced down, at the street below them, and at the apartment building across from them, and this _look_ crossed his face before he nodded. Steve was confused at first, and then it felt like a punch to the stomach as he realized what Billy thought Steve meant.

That he wanted to hide.

And...He _knew_ that it wasn't normal—or _society's_ version of normal, was a phrase that Robin had used. He knew that she hid who she was attracted to, and one night when they had been drunk, she admitted to him that she had been _so scared_ to tell him what she had, that night in the bathroom, after they had thrown up and Steve had admitted to her that he liked her. There had been a guy on a basketball team that they had played against a few times, and it had came out that he liked _guys_ , and the last Steve had heard, he was no longer on the basketball team, because the rest of the team refused to play with him. He hadn't really thought about it at the time, if he was honest. He knows that he's thrown the dirty word _queer_ around a few times, and he'd laughed when Tommy H had called some kid a _faggot_ but it had never been more than a word to him. He knew that was wrong, but it was the truth. He had been an asshole, and he was glad he wasn't like that anymore, and he didn't want Billy to think that.

He didn't want to _hide_.

"That wasn't what I meant," Steve grabbed Billy's hand as it dropped from Steve's arm as Billy turned to go into their apartment. It was the curly haired mans turn to look confused. "I'm not saying that because I don't want to risk people _seeing_ ," he clarified and Billy swallowed hard, _again_. "I'm...I'm saying that because I was thinking we could...Maybe make out while we're laying down on my bed?" He gave Billy a small smile that he hoped smoothed over the hurt that he could see in Billy's eyes, behind the confusion. Billy stared at him for another moment, and then his shoulders relaxed, and he looked as though he believed Steve.

"Yeah," he whispered, gripping Steve's hand. "Yeah, okay."

And so that's what they did.

They closed the outside door that lead to the balcony and turned off the TV, leaving one of the dim lights in the kitchen on so that if Robin came home from her 'not-date' she'd be able to find her way. Steve checked that the doors were all locked and that the only windows that were open were the ones with security locks—although none of them were in their shared bedroom, because even though Billy had begun sleeping with the heater off, he still liked them to be all shut off from the world and safe. Then they went into their room and Steve shut the door and they laid out on Steve's double bed, Steve with his head on the pillow and Billy half on top of him, warm and heavy.

It was slow and beautiful and Steve just wanted the moment to stretch on and on and on. Billy had one leg twined around one of Steve's, and Steve had an arm banded lightly around Billy's waist, holding him there gently, and their lips moved together a little sloppily, the longer it went on. There was the wet sound of spit-slick lips moving together and Steve could feel Billy's own arousal pressing against his hip. It was new, feeling a cock hard against his hip, but that's all it was, a brief moment of Steve realizing that it felt _different_ , and _so fucking good_ , and then he was wanting to figure out how the best way for them to move was, wanting to make Billy feel as good as he did. Nothing was rushed, but Steve could still feel himself getting closer to coming, just from their kissing and moving together, Billy gathered at his side.

"Hey," Steve bumped his nose gently against Billy's and Billy grumbled and then quickly reconnected their lips and Steve wanted to laugh at how adorable it was that the blonde was chasing after his mouth. Billy sucked Steve's lower lip into his mouth and tugged at it with his teeth, and Steve shivered as he tightened his fingers at Billy's hips. "Hey," Steve pulled away again and Billy let out an annoyed huff under his breath. "Can I...Can I move you a bit?" He asked and Billy was quiet for a moment.

"Okay, but just—don't take off my shirt?" His voice was vulnerable and Steve _hated_ it.

"I promise," Steve whispered, even though he really, really wanted Billy to trust him enough to take off his shirt, but he didn't. He really wanted to put his hands underneath the shirt that Billy was wearing and feel his skin under his palms, but he didn't push it, because the last thing he ever wanted was to make Billy feel uncomfortable. He tugged on Billy's waist with the arm that was around him, until he was properly on top of Steve, and his knees fell on either side of Steve's hips and their cocks were pretty much perfectly lined up through their shorts. Steve tested his theory, rolling his hips upward, and the pressure was beautiful.

Judging from the hiss he got from Billy, he was guessing he'd gotten it right for him as well.

"You feel so good, Billy," Steve murmured as he reached up to press his lips to Billy's again. Billy made a sound from deep in his throat, similar to the one he had made on the balcony, and he seemed to relax, letting Steve take his weight, arranging his arms around Steve, one of them resting on the pillow and the other going to Steve's hair, which was already a mess. They kept kissing, wet and slow, and their hips moved together. Steve's hands rested first on Billy's hips and then they moved around to his ass, gently at first, until Billy started reacting to it pretty well, given that he started moaning more and tugging harder on Steve's hair, and so Steve squeezed a little harder.

Steve came in his shorts first, and even though he _knew_ that it was heading in that direction, it was still embarrassing, especially since this was Billy— _Hargrove_ , who had apparently slept with four cheerleaders in one night at that party where Nancy had broken up with Steve. But then Billy's hips jerked over Steve's and he bit down hard on Steve's bottom lip and sighed out Steve's name, and he knew that Billy had come as well, and he physically slapped himself because this _wasn't_ Hargrove.

It was _Billy_.

* * *

"Don't doctors get paid more than nurses? Why don't you want to be a _doctor_? You're smart enough to be one," Steve stated as he looked down at the papers that were spread out across their coffee table. Robin was sitting on the ground with her legs folded in front of her, and she was writing on an application form in this whirling writing that had little circles over the 'i's and lower case 'j's which Steve had honestly been surprised by the first time he had seen it, because she seemed like someone with much more _boring_ writing.

"Don't you get paid enough from _daddy_ to support all of us? Why shouldn't I go for the degree I want?" Robin retorted and Steve rolled his eyes behind his glasses. Billy wasn't saying anything to either of them, was just quiet and watching _Dynasty_ , while tucked up against Steve's side, comfortably under his arm. Robin hadn't mentioned anything to either of them, since the 4th when things had become a lot closer between them, but there were definitely some knowing looks and smug smiles coming from her. She went back to her application and Steve and Billy went back to watching TV until the phone rang. It rang once, twice, three times, and then Robin huffed and turned her head to look a the boys on the couch. "Oi. One of you dingus' answer that." Billy jabbed Steve in the side and shot him a playful look and Steve rolled his eyes as though this whole thing was put upon, but he liked that Billy was loosening up, so he dragged himself up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to pick up the phone.

"Hey, Steve speaking," he answered, unable to stop himself from angling his body so that he could see Billy at the end of the couch. It was raining and it was a little colder today so Billy was wearing an oversized jersey that belonged to Steve with the pair of shorts that he had one, and he looked soft and happy, especially with his curls all around his face, getting longer again. Steve didn't really want to think about how mushy that made his heart feel.

"Steve!" Max's voice sounded panicked.

"Max?" Steve instantly snapped out of his happy head space, his body going taunt, flashing to worst case scenarios, teeth grinding. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"You're not answering your walkie! Neil is on his way over! Someone down your hall works with him and he saw Billy going into your guys place, and Susan had told him that she saw him around, and he's coming and he's really mad, and I didn't know what to say and—" both Robin and Billy were in the kitchen and staring at Steve with expectant eyes now, Billy looking a little more worried than Robin.

"Max," Steve said, sounding a lot calmer than he expected. "Max, it's okay. We'll deal with it."

"He's not happy, Steve. You—you _know_ what he does with Billy when he's not happy!" Max's breathing was quick and Steve pursed his lips together as his mind raced. Something he had learnt in these past couple of years was that he wasn't actually terrible in emergency situations.

"Max, it's going to be okay," he told her, forcing himself to keep his voice calm, with his words only clipped a _little_ bit. "Don't worry, okay? We're going to call you back in one hour," he looked up a the clock on the wall. It was just after five. "We'll call you back at six, okay?"

"Fine," Max snapped at him, sounding annoyed but worried. "...Promise?!"

"Promise," Steve replied before swiftly hanging up. "Robin, you need to go and get your walkie and tell Lucas or one of the kids to go around to Max's place." Robin didn't even ask any questions, she was straight away darting to her room to find her own walkie-talkie, and before Steve could even say anything to Billy he was interrupting him.

"What's wrong with Max? Is she okay? What the fuck is going on? What are we dealing with? Where—"

"Billy, your dad is coming here," Steve told him steadily, not reaching out and touching the other man like he wanted to do, but putting his hand down flat on the counter top. Billy blinked at him, words dying on his lips. They could hear Robin talking in her room through the open door, and the TV playing in the other room, and Steve knew that they needed to talk quickly because if Max had been trying to reach them on the walkie-talkies first, before calling, that probably already gave the man time to get to his car and screech out of the driveway and on it's way to town. They were about fifteen minutes from Max's house, if someone was driving at the speed limit, but Steve had definitely a few of the road rules crossing town and he knew that it was manageable in just under ten. "Look, don't panic—"

" _Don't panic_?!" Billy spat out, and if this were any other situation, Steve would actually be really happy that Billy was sounding more like _himself_ , all arrogant and angry, but it wasn't, this was a bad situation, so he just pushed on.

"We're here, okay? It isn't just Max and your step-mother. There's _other people_ here. He—he's not stupid enough to do anything when there are other people here," Steve pointed out, and Billy looked like he wanted to argue but Steve finally rested a hand on Billy's arm. "I won't let him touch you," he curled his fingers around Billy's arm, eyes narrowing. "I promise, Billy." Billy's eyes looked as though there was a storm going on, and something that Steve had learned was that even if Billy's face and mouth was saying on thing, his eyes were the most descriptive.

"We promise," Robin said stubbornly as she came back into the room, crossing her arms over her chest. Billy looked over at her, and then back at Steve, and he looked hesitant and nervous, but he nodded and let out a shaky breath through clenched teeth.

They didn't go back into the lounge and watch TV while they waited for Neil to show up. It seemed pointless, knowing that none of them would really be paying attention, all of them on edge as they waited. Billy was standing close to Steve, not quite pressing his body against Steve's, but it definitely seemed like he wanted to, and Robin was sitting on top of the centre counter, swinging her legs nervously, her heels bumping rhythmically against the the cupboards underneath her, clicking her teeth. It felt both as though it had been over an hour since Max's frantic phone call, and only a few minutes when there was angry pounding on their apartment door, and Billy's body jerked, so tense that Steve was worried he was going to snap.

"Billy! I fucking know you're in there! Open the fucking door!" Neil shouted from the hallway, his voice sounding savage, and Steve took in a deep breath through his nose, looking at Robin, who was clenching her teeth together and looked ready to spring forward.

"Be ready to the call the sheriffs office," Steve said quietly and she nodded, sliding off the counter, face pale. Billy's hands were like vices around Steve's arm, fingers so tight they were drained of colour and biting into Steve's skin. "I'm gonna answer the door, okay?" Steve said and Billy's eyes widened, not letting go of Steve.

"No, Steve, you can't—"

"I can hear you in there, Billy!" Neil shouted and the banging got louder. Billy's body jerked next to Steve and Robin moved to stand next to them, pressing herself against Billy, wrapping an arm around his waist protectively. Billy didn't flinch away from the contact, seeming to welcome it. "Open this _fucking_ door! You been here this whole time? Knew you wouldn't have the balls to run back to California on your own! You just been fucking hiding here?! Too scared to show your face?!" Steve managed to get Billy's fingers loosened from around his arm and he stepped forward, unlocking the door and opening it with one swing, meeting Neil's eyes with steady ones of his own. Neil looked shocked to see someone who _wasn't_ his son standing there, his arm still raised and hand still clenched in a fist, his face so red it actually looked purple in some places.

"Mr Hargrove," Steve's words were clipped, careful only to have the door open wide enough so that he was visible, no one else in the apartment behind him. Neil blinked and then seemed to recover his footing, arms at his side, hands in fists, shoulders tense and ready for a fight.

"Where's my son?" He demanded.

"He doesn't want to see you," Steve replied evenly and Neil actually faltered for a moment, caught off guard, before his thick eyebrows pulled together.

"Now, listen here, you fucking brat—" he jabbed a finger in Steve's face and took a step forward, and maybe he expected Steve to take a step back, but he didn't. He wasn't the best at fighting, he knew that, but he didn't let himself get intimidated. Maybe that was stupidity, but he stood firm, feet planted the way Billy had told him to so many times back in high school when they were playing basketball, and shoulders squared. "I want to talk to my son!" He demanded again, but there was something that had changed in his voice, as though he knew that there was only limited things that he could do. Steve noticed that the door of the apartment just down from them on the opposite side of the hall had opened and one of their neighbors was watching them with a frown.

"Or what? Are you going to hit me, like you hit him?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow, not bothering to keep his voice down, just like Neil wasn't. Another door opened, just opposite them, and it was a young mother standing there that Steve often helped bring groceries up for, and she was glaring across the hallway at Neil. "Doesn't quite work like that. There's nothing stopping me from calling the sheriff. _I'm_ not too scared to do that." Hopper wasn't here anymore, a loss that Steve and his friends all had to deal with in many aspects, but the new sheriff had been one of Hopper's longest serving deputies, and he knew that Steve had been friendly with Hopper, and he wouldn't look too fondly on someone threatening Steve, Steve was pretty sure of that.

"Why are you protecting him?" Neil looked _genuinely_ confused. "He's not worth it." Steve swallowed hard and he couldn't stop himself from looking over his shoulder and toward Billy and Robin just a few steps away from him in the kitchen. Unfortunately, that seemed to be enough confirmation to Neil that Billy was inside, and he shoved past Steve, pushing open the door and shouldering his way into the apartment.

"Hey!" Steve shouted out, trying to grab at Neil's shirt to hold him back, but he couldn't get enough of a grip and the older, bulky man slipped right past. He looked at the woman across the hallway. "Call the sheriff!" He called out to her and she nodded her head quickly before he was turning around. He wanted to scream at Neil for invading their apartment, which was meant to be safe and _all their own_ , but he forced himself not to lose his head. Robin was shoving Billy so that he was on the opposite side of the counter, onto the other side of the breakfast bar. Neil lunged for him, trying to reach out, but Billy bounced back, making sure there was enough space between him and the breakfast bar that Neil couldn't reach him. The air in the apartment was electric, and it was only going to take a swipe of a match to set everything up in flames, Steve knew that.

"Fucking little pussy," Neil spat out, standing across from Billy with his hands slapping down on the counter top after he tried to lunge again. "Needing your friends to fucking stand up for you. This why you didn't come home? You too good for your family now?"

"I'm not—" Billy began, but his voice was quiet and Neil bulldozed right over him.

"I would say you need your _girlfriend_ here to stand up for you," his fiery eyes sparked as they looked towards Robin, whose fingers looked as though they were itching to reach for the cast-iron frying pan that was near her. "But we both know you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to be normal and have one of _those_ , right?" Neil's words were dripping with malice and Billy looked as though he was shriveling up into himself on the other side of the breakfast bar. Steve swallowed hard as he realized what Neil was insinuating, and he hadn't actually put together that some of the abuse that Billy had suffered growing up might have been because Neil knew about Billy's preferences.

"You need to leave," Steve stated, glad that there was no wobble in his voice, knowing that at least one person in the apartment needed to keep their head. "The sheriff is on his way." Neil's eyes turned and they rested on Steve, and suddenly, there was a cruel smile twisting on his lips. It was actually a similar smile to one that Steve had seen on Billy's face before, when he had confronted Steve at the Byers house, but Neil's eyes were harder, and that was back when Billy had been _Hargrove_ , not Billy.

"Oh," he hummed out, and he straightened up, suddenly not looking as off-balance as he had before. His smile stretched and his eyes glinted and Steve was watching him carefully, refusing to take his eyes off him because he didn't trust that he wasn't about to make a sudden move. " _You're_ his girlfriend," he smirked as he looked at Steve. "She's the fucking decoration for you pair of _faggots_ ," he spat out as he jerked a thumb in Robin's direction. "No _wonder_ you're so protective of him." Steve could hair the faint sound of police series, and it was just a matter of time before the sheriff was here, and hopefully bringing a few of his deputies with him, which was _good_ , because his eyes were beginning to cloud with anger. "Shit, Billy, you really just couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? Never could." Billy was blinking, his eyes glistening with tears and Steve wanted to lash out at Neil, wanted to get him on the ground and hurt him in the way that he had been hurting Billy for years. But he didn't, because he didn't want to make the situation worse. "And now you're just _spreading_ yourself out for this—this _boy_ so that he'll give you somewhere to sleep. Of _course_ your mother left—" Neil was beginning to inch his way around the centre counter, closer to Billy and Steve's whole body was coiled tight, ready to spring. Billy was just standing stock still, staring at his father with his arms wrapped protectively around his body. "Of course she didn't want to be around you. You're _disgusting_ , you're _worthless_ , you're—" he was cut off abruptly with a solid thud and then he was falling to the ground.

Steve and Billy's eyes were wide as they looked up to where Robin were standing above his crumpled body, their frying pan clenched tight in her hand as she breathed heavily.

"What did you—" Billy cut off, and a tear fell from one eye, tracking down his cheek. "He's gonna—he's gonna be so fucking angry when he wakes up. You can't—"

"The sheriff is on his way," Steve assured him, quickly moving to Billy's side.

"And it was self defense," Robin stated. "Right?" Steve nodded quickly and both of them turned their gazes to Billy. Billy looked down at his father on the ground, only his torso visible to Steve and Billy from their side of the counter, and he took in a deep breath before he moved from Steve to wrap his arms around Robin in a tight hug. She was still holding the frying pan in one hand, but she hugged him with the other one.

The sheriff arrived with two deputies a few minutes later. Their eyes widened when they saw the body on the ground, but Robin stepped forward, quickly taking charge of the situation. Steve didn't give a shit that they now had an audience, looking over at them as they listened to Robin retell her version of events, he wrapped an arm around Billy's shoulder and pulled him in close to his side. Billy was frozen solid as he stared down at his father on the ground, but spared a wide eyed glace at Steve, then looking toward the deputies and the two neighbors in the doorway and then back at Steve, but Steve didn't make any moves to step away. If Billy did, then that was up to him, but he needed Steve's support right now, and Steve wanted to show that there wasn't anything holding him back. Robin sounded sufficiently hysterical for a girl who had just hit someone over the head with a frying pan, even though it was clearly being put on because her hands were completely steady, and the officers looked as though they believed her.

Especially when they started talking to the neighbors, who corroborated that they had heard yelling from Neil and that he had pushed past Steve and stormed into their house. Obviously they hadn't seen anything once Neil had gotten into the apartment, but they had continued to hear the shouting, so it seemed to match up with everything that Robin was saying. Plus there was the fact that Neil was known for getting drunk and getting into physical alternations with people in town. The deputies splashed some water on Neil's face and slapped his cheeks a few times, waiting for him to wake up, and when he did—spluttering and red faced and swearing—they hauled him to his feet and slapped some hand cuffs on his wrists, dragging him out of the apartment.

"Steve," Sheriff Janson Bryce nodded as he came over to stand in front of Billy and Steve. He looked at the arm around Billy's shoulder, and the way that Steve's other hand was gripping onto Billy's arm—maybe more to ground himself than the blonde—but he didn't say anything about it. "It's been a while since I've seen you at the station."

"Doesn't really feel the same down there," Steve shrugged a limp shoulder and Janson nodded. Steve had been arrested a couple of times when he was in his early teens, and had been to the station all of four times. But then after all the Upside Down business, he ended up going by the station just to pick things up that Hopper had gotten through the day and wanted Steve to take out to El because he was going to working late. They hadn't been incredibly close, Hopper was all rough edges and gruff words, but Steve liked the guy well enough, and it was nice to have an adult who knew everything that they had been through. And now with Hopper gone...Steve hoped he would never have to go to the station again.

"Pass on my regards to Joyce and the family when you speak to them next," Janson continued and Steve dipped his head in a nod, still not moving from Billy's side. The sheriff took in a deep breath, glancing back over his shoulder at the empty doorway where the deputies and Neil had disappeared. "We'll take him down to the station and get him booked. I need to get statements from you first, though." Both Steve and Billy nodded. "I also just thought...I thought I'd tell you that we also had a few reports from the school that came through a while ago, Billy, and from one of the neighbors near your fathers house." Billy tensed beside Steve, and then he leaned his weight fully against Steve. Robin took a few steps closer as well, eyes focused on the sheriff. "The counselor and one of the teachers called a few times about bruises and injuries that they were concerned about, and a neighbour called one night when there was a lot of yelling and then she thought she saw someone fall down, through a window where the curtain wasn't pulled properly."

"The time the police showed up with a noise complaint..." Billy murmured under his breath. Obviously nothing had happened though, given Billy had been left in that house with his father, which made Steve grind his back teeth together. "Dad knew that it must have been more, given you guys kept coming back for check ups, every few months."

"Yes," the sheriff nodded. "Hopper was making noise about pressing charges, but it was hard when we didn't have any evidence." Billy pursed his lips together and Steve wondered if he regretted not saying anything earlier. "And then he figured that your birthday was coming up and you were nearly finished with your school year, so you probably wouldn't hang around much longer, so maybe it would just do more harm than good," Janson shrugged. "Actually, we all thought you _had_ moved on. No ones seen you in around here in long time," he arched an eyebrow, and clearly even though it had came out as a statement, it was more of a question.

"I'm...Visiting," Billy mumbled, because it was probably a bit strange to admit that he had practically been house bound for the past year, other than the first few months when he had been in a lab and then wandering the forest, and had only in most recent month or so started going outside.

"From Cali," Robin piped up from behind the sheriff.

"We're actually all moving there soon," Steve added, because even though it wasn't exactly relevant to their conversation right _now_ , it felt important. When Billy squeezed his arm, he felt he had done the right thing. When he looked back at the sheriff, Janson's eyebrows were raised and he was looking down to where Billy's hand was now on Steve's arm, before responding.

"That's where you were from, right?" He asked, obviously directing the question at Billy, who nodded. "Right, well...We'll do what we can but it'd probably be best if you can make a fresh break. I think...I think it would be good for all of you, really. There's a lot of darkness here in Hawkins," he shrugged, making a bit of a face, not aware of how close to the truth his comment was. "You deserve to all get out there and see what else there is." It sounded like a pretty insightful thing to come out in the end of situation that wasn't so great, which sort of reminded Steve of Joyce, and he felt a bit sadder at that.

Billy and Steve gave their statements, and then Janson left, and they watched out Robin's bedroom window as the two police cars—one of them with Billy's father handcuffed in the backseat—pulled away from the curb and drove down the street. Billy then called Max, and they spoke for a while, the man leaning against the wall, and eventually pulling over a chair since it didn't seem as though her step-sister wanted to let him off the phone. Robin made pasta for dinner and they ate while sitting in the lounge. Then they all laid down on Steve's bed, where Billy and Steve had both been sleeping every night since the 4th. Billy was safely tucked in the middle with Robin on one side holding one hand and Steve on the other side, with his arm wrapped around Billy's waist. Billy didn't seem to care about how close they both were too him—almost suffocatingly, and he went to sleep quickly, Robin next, although it took Steve a lot longer. When he finally did sleep, his head was buried in Billy's shoulder and his arm a little tighter around Billy's waist.

* * *

"Think you could convince Nancy to move with you guys?" Jonathan grinned as he helped pack some of the books that Billy had ended up collecting and putting into the book shelf that Robin had hauled out of her room and into the lounge for communal use. On top of the books that Max would hire Billy from the library, Steve had started slipping her money to buy books that she thought might interest him. Sometimes she got second hand ones from the library that they were selling, mainly cook books, and others were brand new from the new mall that was now open, and the dusty old charity store on the edge of town. Most days when Steve and Robin got home from work, Billy wasn't watching TV, he had his nose buried in a book, unless one or more of the brats were over and were demanding attention. "And then I could move out there...I'd be down for living by a beach after Hawkins all my life."

"No," Billy muttered under his breath, but Jonathan heard and looked over at him with an arched eyebrow. Steve glanced over as well, and he couldn't help but grin, because he knew where Billy's mind was going. Billy hadn't shown much interest in Nancy until about two months ago. He was pretty much fine with her, until she got close to Steve, giving him a hug and kiss goodbye, twice coming over at strange hours in the middle of night to complain about Jonathan which Billy had muttered was _just fucking weird_ , since Steve and Nancy had dated once.

Robin said it was gross and obvious.

Steve had only just realized when Max had brought it up last weekend and snapped at Billy that he was being jealous and rude.

So the idea of Nancy moving across the country with Billy, Steve and Robin probably didn't appeal too much either, although Jonathan didn't know any of this. He shot a confused look over at Steve, who just shrugged a shoulder, still smiling, unable to hide the fact that he was pleased that Billy was _jealous_ of him. Billy picked up the box that he had just finished taping up and walked out of the room, toward the kitchen where Max and El were, and Jonathan dropped from his crouching position to sitting on his ass and staring pointedly at Steve. Steve went on packing their collection of VHS tapes, ignoring Jonathan for as long as he could, before Jonathan picked up a hacky sack that one of the brats had undoubtedly dropped and threw it at Steve.

"Hey!" Steve protested, his head jerking up, but he couldn't stop his grin. He and Jonathan had never been close. They'd been downright enemies for a while there, and then they'd seemed to struck up a bit of a tentative truce over the past few years, given they had a lot of ties connecting them, but ever since _Starcourt Mall_ , things seemed almost friendly between them. Admittedly, they saw each other a whole lot less, given after everything happened at the mall, three months later the Byers and El were moving away, but now every time they saw each other, things weren't as _tense_ as they had been. And Steve liked that, because Jonathan was a good guy.

"What's going on there?" Jonathan asked, keeping his voice low, eyes glowing curiously.

"Uh, we're moving? You're helping us pack?" Steve played dumb, and he was good at it. Jonathan rolled his eyes.

" _No_. Between you and Hargrove," Jonathan replied.

"Billy," Steve corrected absentmindedly as he finished packing up the VHS tapes. There was still some room in the box, so he slid the cardboard box across the ground, closer to Jonathan and the book shelf, and started pulling out books to pile into the box as well. "And what do you mean?" Jonathan wasn't even pretending to keep packing at this point, crossing his arms loosely over his chest and just watching Steve. Steve felt the gaze on him, prickles over his skin as Jonathan seemed to see right through him, obviously having a fair idea of what was going on between Steve and Billy.

It had been just over two months and a half months since the first time they had kissed, two months since the 4th of July, when they had made out and gotten each other off and about a month since Neil had shown up at. Steve and Billy hadn't talked about what they had with each other, and Steve hadn't talked about it with anyone else, even with Robin. He wasn't sure if Billy had, but he kind of assumed he hadn't. And as for Neil, he hadn't come by their place again, but Billy had stopped leaving the house to go out by himself or with Robin or Max or the kids, only leaving with Steve, usually just to go for their runs in the early morning. Neil was part of the reason that they had decided to move up their date to leave for California. Robin had applied to be accepted from the winter semester at UCLA and even though she hadn't received her acceptance letter yet, Steve and Billy knew that it was a sure thing. The plan had been to wait for her letter to come, and then do a couple of long weekend trips, fly out there and look around for places to live and work, but Steve and Robin both hated the way Billy had taken a few steps back in his recovery, and they themselves were both ready for a change, so they had decided to move up their timeline.

Billy had done a little bit of work on the Camaro, but nowhere near enough for it to be road ready, so it was getting hooked up behind the moving truck. They had the option of driving the moving truck themselves, and dropping it off with one of the branches in Los Angeles, or having a driver take it across for them, which would cost more. Since they were also going to be taking Steve's car, it would mean that for long durations of the thirty-two hour drive that they were going to be embarking on, someone was going to be driving alone. Robin had joked and said that there was no way she wanted to be stuck in a car with both of them, but Steve knew that she had no problems with it. His parents knew about the move, and his father wired him more money for the moving costs and then something extra for deposit on whatever new place they would be looking at in Los Angeles, so that helped a lot.

It was going to be a five day road trip, taking turns to drive—Billy's wallet with his licence had been found underneath one of the seats in his Camaro, and all of their things would be taken to Steve's aunts house, because she had a big place in Orange County, similar to the Harrington one in Hawkins, with a big garage out the back and a two bedroomed flat that she kept for family and friends when they visited. Once they got to Los Angeles, they were going to stay with Steve's aunt while they figured out their next step. They needed to find jobs and they needed to find a new place. Steve's aunt had found them a few places to look at that she thought they would like to have a look at, but Steve knew his family would probably all be looking out of their price range though, even though he had reminded her a couple of times when they had spoken on the phone. But she meant well, and at least they had a starting point.

"You know that him and El talk...Like almost every week? I honestly couldn't have imagined that before," Jonathan looked through the doorway to where El and Max were talking to Billy. El and Max were grinning and El was wearing a bright coloured shirt and Max's hair was short now, both different from where they had first started a few years ago, both so easy with each other. Billy was smiling and he was standing up straight, his shoulders pushed back, and he looked confident and happy, and Steve could feel his whole body melting a little as he watched Billy tease the two girls, ruffling Max's hair.

"Yeah," Steve murmured. "I mean, Billy hasn't told me how often, but I pay the phone bill, so I see the long distance calls on there." It was pretty expensive, especially since some of the calls went for over an hour, but Steve didn't care. The money he got from his father was more than enough to cover it, so he did so without mentioning it to Robin or Billy. "Mike and Dustin take turns were their Ceb—Cebro—"

"Cerebro," Jonathan offered.

"Mike and Dustin take turns with _that_ , although since Dustin and his girlfriend have broken up, Mike has it more often, and I can't really imagine Billy figuring that out and using a walkie-talklie to contact El, so makes sense using the phone," Steve shrugged a shoulder. "It doesn't bother me."

"I also couldn't imagine him reading cooking books and making dinner every night," Jonathan grinned and held up one of the books that boasted one hundred and one pasta recipes. "But here we are." Steve smiled and he couldn't help but look back toward Billy, who was listening to El and Max, whose voices were getting louder and louder in the kitchen, and Billy seemed to sense eyes on him because he looked toward Steve and his smile changed, to something more intimate, making Steve's stomach feel all goopy. "You know...You know I don't _care_ about it, right?" Jonathan's voice made Steve turn his head back to him. Jonathan swallowed hard and tapped a finger against the book he was holding. "About...If you and Billy were something. You know Will...You know Will likes _boys_ , right?" Steve narrowed his eyes at Jonathan, taking a moment to think before replying, because he wasn't always the best when having these serious conversations.

"Mike...He said he missed both El and Will at Valentines Day...And then he asked me if I thought he could love two people at once," he murmured and Jonathan nodded before shrugging a shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure Will's been in love with Mike since they first became friends. I always knew that they were close, but it took me a while to realize just _how_ close, at least on Will's side. Maybe on Mike's as well, from what you said," Jonathan smiled and shrugged. "So...I don't _care_ , okay?" Steve nodded once, and then quietly went back to putting things in the box. Once it was full, he closed it and picked up the roll of tape that Billy had dropped and then he stopped, thumb tapping against the tape.

"Hey, Jonathan?" Steve said quietly.

"Yeah?" Jonathan looked up through his fringe, which was a lot shorter than it had been when they were back in high school, which was good.

"I'm...I'm sorry about...About what I said," Steve said, words stilted. "That time, with Tommy H, Carol and Nicole." Jonathan gave him a small smile and shrugged.

"It's okay," he replied softly.

"It wasn't. It really fucking wasn't, but thanks for saying it," Steve muttered. He'd been thinking a lot about it since Neil had showed up, yelling and abusive, throwing around the word _faggot_. Steve had thought that he was at peace at what he had said in the past, that words were just words and he hadn't _meant_ them in _that_ way, so it didn't really matter. But he had seen the way Billy had flinched at the word, had seen the way it had cut at him, seen the way that Neil had wielded it like a weapon, and he had been wrong. Just because he hadn't meant them, it didn't mean they hadn't hurt whoever he had said them to, or when he laughed about it with Tommy H when he had used it. He didn't really remember who he had said it to, probably just people who had gotten in his way in the hallways, or who had tripped him while he was playing basketball, or spilt beer on him at a party, and he couldn't apologize to all of them individually.

But he could to Jonathan.

"Oh yeah, and Steve?" Jonathan said as he stood up and arched his back, spine popping from where he had been slumped for a while. "Mum knows you're the one who has been paying to send flowers for Bob and Hop. She's not sure why you want to keep it a secret, and she didn't want me to say anything, but I thought you should know that she really appreciates it." Steve really didn't know what to say in response, but Jonathan didn't seem to be expecting one, because he picked up the box he had finished packing and left the room, heading toward the kitchen.

That night, Steve and Billy were laying in Steve's double bed. Most of their things were all packed up in the moving truck that was parked around the back of the apartment building, and they were going to the Harrington house tomorrow to get Steve's King bed as well as another TV and set of drawers before they left. Billy's bed was packed away, but he had mainly slept with Steve since the 4th anyway, piled with pillows and only two blankets now, since Billy didn't feel the need to be so hot anymore. The sliding door was open as well.

"Billy?" Steve whispered into the darkness. The sliding door was wide open and the heater was off, and it was nearly one in the morning, based on the clock next to Steve's bed, so he wasn't sure if Billy would be awake.

"Yeah?" Billy whispered back in the dark.

"I'm sorry about what your dad called you," Steve said. Billy didn't reply for a moment and Steve was worried that he'd gotten this wrong, and maybe he shouldn't have mentioned Neil, but then Billy was rolling over, and there was a little bit of light coming into their room because Robin had fallen asleep in the lounge with the TV on and neither of them had gone in to turn it off. Steve lifted a hand and rested it on Billy's hip, giving it a light squeeze. "I'm sorry he used that word."

"Well...He's not exactly wrong, is he?" Billy replied, his voice sounding a little bitter. Steve didn't know how to reply to that, because it sounded as though Billy didn't _like_ that Neil had been right, even if that word wasn't the one that Steve would use to describe Billy's proclivities.

"Do you not...Do you not want this?" Steve murmured, feeling his stomach drop. Billy jerked next to him and then suddenly leaned forward, putting his head on Steve's pillow so that their noses were almost touching.

"Don't say that," he said, voice firm. "You're the best fucking thing going for me, pretty boy." It was Steve's turn to jerk a bit in response, those two words that he hadn't heard in so long going surprisingly straight to his cock. Billy was quiet for a moment before there was a low laugh. "What, you like that?"

"Well...Maybe it sounds a little different when it doesn't sound like an insult," Steve admitted quietly, _very_ aware of the small space between them, and the fact that his cock was already half hard, just from that little comment. He could blame it on the fact he hadn't jerked off since his shower two days ago, but it was definitely Billy.

Just Billy.

He had this ridiculous affect on Steve.

It was a good thing that Steve didn't have to hide it anymore, because he had been _terrible_ at it, Robin and Max loved to tease him about it, and Billy seemed to feel the same way.

"Trust me, it was never an insult," Billy said quietly, and he rested his hand on Steve's bare chest, stroking over the smooth skin. Steve had always shaved his chest while going through high school and it had just kind of stuck. Billy used to as well, but now he seemed to just keep it kind of thinned out and Steve liked it, even though he only got to catch glimpses of it when he was pulling on a shirt, because he still didn't like Steve seeing his torso. "I mean, maybe I acted like a bit of a dick—"

"A complete asshole, Billy," Steve blurted out without even thinking and then Billy let out a shout of laughter at the unexpected comment. Steve had been so careful, even in the past few months when Billy was healing, Steve was still careful with what he was saying, and definitely hadn't been making reference to the animosity that had been them before everything happened.

"Yeah, alright, a complete asshole," Billy agreed with a bit of a snort and Steve just wanted him to keep laughing. He just wanted Billy to keep smiling and shaking the bed with laughter and being happy and sounding free and being the one who _made_ him laugh. "But I always thought you were pretty. So pretty."

"Yeah?" Steve couldn't help but ask, because other than Billy calling him 'pretty boy' he'd never been called _pretty_ before, and...He liked it.

"So pretty," Billy mumbled and then he leaned forward and kissed Steve firmly on the mouth.

Even though they had kissed before the 4th, and then kissed and done a bit _more_ on the 4th, and then been sleeping together most nights and been physically close since then, they hadn't done much more. There had been a handful of kisses, and Billy got in a cheeky ass grab when they were brushing their teeth at the same time one morning last week which had surprised Steve and almost made him choke on his tooth brush, but there hadn't been anything more than that. Steve was completely fine with that, because he was still _new_ to liking guys so some of the dynamics were foreign to him and he didn't want to pressure Billy by asking about them and it wasn't as though he could get out a book from the library, so he just let Billy set the pace.

Steve leaned into Billy's touch, the hand on Billy's hip curving around a little more so that his fingers were stretching out and touching his ass, which was firm underneath the pair of shorts that Billy was wearing. Billy rolled his hips forward a bit and then pressed them back into Steve's hand, which slipped down a little further and Steve tightened his grip, eyes opening in the dark when he _felt_ rather than heard Billy's moan. He froze for a moment, and Billy stopped as well, pulling back and watching Steve.

"Is...That okay?" Steve asked and Billy let out another snort, lifting a hand to gently move Steve's fringe away from his forehead with his pinky finger.

"I promise you, pretty much everything you do or want to do is okay," Billy murmured. Steve nodded and Billy's hand moved, scratching back down Steve's bare chest, which send shivers through his body and he wanted to do that to Billy. Touch his shoulders and his chest and maybe his nipples, because when Billy's thumb tripped over Steve's, it definitely sent a zing right to his cock.

"If I said that I wanted you to take off your shirt? Would that be okay?" Steve whispered and Billy's movements froze. Steve immediately wanted to take back the words, because he wanted Billy to be loose and happy, like he was just a couple of seconds ago, but he didn't, he pressed his lips together because it was something that needed to be said. Billy was getting better and Steve liked what was happening between them, and so if they were going to go any further—Steve might be new to this with guys, but he was pretty sure that some logistics were the same as with as with a girl, and eventually, all clothes were going to come off.

"I don't—I'm not—I—" Billy stuttered and his hands fell away from Steve's body and he physically seemed to recoil. Steve shifted his hand, taking it off Billy's ass because he didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. "I don't _look_ the same as the last time you saw me naked."

"I've seen you naked _a lot_ ," Steve replied, keeping his tone light, hoping to keep it friendly. _That_ was true, because he had seen Billy a lot in the showers, and maybe he had looked at him more than was polite, but it had never been something that he had really thought about before. But he knew that Billy meant that before, in the showers, after basketball practice and gym class, he was muscled, and toned, and tanned, and now he was skinnier, and nowhere near as toned, and a little more pale than he had been before because he didn't spend much time in the sun _at all_.

"Yeah, but not..." Billy trailed off and took in a shaky breath. Steve chewed down on his bottom lip and he reached out and found Billy's hand, pressing his fingers through Billy's and holding it tightly. He was aiming for reassuring, but he didn't really know how a hand-hold could convey that. "Not since _then_."

"Billy," Steve murmured, and it was his turn to shuffle closer, moving his head so that it was on Billy's pillow, which was super fluffy, something that Steve had realized Billy had liked and had specifically brought for him a couple of weeks ago. "I've seen you naked since everything happened." Billy's fingers tightened around Steve's. "Your clothes were torn to shreds when we found you in the forest, and you were barely lucid for the first few days. And then when you were at my place, you really needed a shower, and over the first week, I helped you with that twice." Billy let out a harsh breath and he tipped his head forward, his forehead pressing against Steve's nose. Steve moved his head forward to press a kiss to Billy's crown.

A few minutes passed, and any sexual tension that had been there before had quickly dissipated, Steve's cock was no longer hard in his shorts, which was completely fine, because he hoped that Billy had really heard what he said.

Steve knew that Billy had scars, and he didn't care.

He'd gotten them saving El, protecting himself from his father, and then the one on his hip was from when he had gotten caught in a rip as a kid and been thrown against rocks as he was trying to claw himself out along the rough edges.

He'd gotten them from _surviving_.

And that was nothing to be ashamed of.

Steve gave Billy another kiss to his temple, and then fell asleep, pretty quickly after that.

* * *

Steve had thought that the worst goodbye was going to be Dustin, because the kid had been throwing hissy fits ever since he had found that the trio were talking about moving to California. And it had been pretty bad, all of them meeting outside of the Wheeler house, since it was pretty central in Hawkins, Dustin sniveling and gripping on tightly to Steve. Steve managed to hold back on all the water works, but he couldn't help the lump in his chest as he had hugged Dustin the longest, and then moved on to hugging Nancy.

But no, the worst goodbye was Max. Her and Billy were gripping onto each other in a way that no one in the small group had seen before. Robin was standing just behind Steve's left shoulder, and her eyes widened as she watched the two, and then Steve was surprised when he heard her exhale shakily and then reach out and slide her hand into his. The kids were all talking over one another, and Steve and Robin tried to stay a part of the conversation, not making it obvious that they were watching the siblings hold onto each other and cry. Karen Wheeler came out of the house and she had a slightly strange expression on her face when she looked at Billy, but she got over it quickly as she said goodbye to Steve and gave his shoulder a squeeze and wished him the best. Nancy and Mike's little sister also dawdled out, and Erica biked over with one of her friends, apparently because Lucas had left to go to Dustin's without her. Robin and Erica had some sort of strange handshake that took about seven and a half hours to complete, and Steve couldn't stop himself from faking coughing the word _nerds_ at them, getting an evil look from Erica.

Even after they had finished saying goodbye and decided that it was probably time to get in the car since they were planning to get all the way to Tulsa and stay there for the night, which meant they really needed to get going soon, Max and Billy were still holding each other tightly. Steve's chest hurt as he looked at the siblings, but when Billy pulled back, his shoulders were pushed back and he was standing tall and strong, unlike _anything_ the Billy from the end of last year had been.

"Alright, Max," Billy murmured. "I'll write to you soon, yeah?"

"But to Lucas' address, right? So Neil doesn't see?" Max quickly checked, even though it was something that they had decided several weeks before and confirmed at least twice since.

"To Lucas' address," Billy nodded and he glanced over at Lucas with a small smile. Lucas' responding smile was still a little terrified, which Steve was pretty sure was never going to go away. Max leaned forward to give her brother one last hug before she moved onto Steve and Robin, which were substantially shorter, and then stepped back and leaned heavily against Lucas' side. Her boyfriend—the couple were now _on_ again—wrapped an arm around her as they watched the trio walk to Steve's car. Steve got in the drivers side of the car and Robin got in the front passenger side while Billy settled in the back, and Steve looked out the window at Nancy's small smile, eyes trained on him.

It was strange to think that two years ago, the only person that he could imagine himself leaving his home town with would have been her. College had definitely been in her future and he'd just assumed that he would manage to get in somewhere, and they would make it all work together, even though he hadn't thought too hard about it. Even a year and a half ago, she'd still sort of fluttered in the back of his head when he thought about what he wanted in the future. Maybe it hadn't been Nancy specifically, at that time, because her and Jonathan were _definitely_ together, and Steve hadn't felt as strongly about her as he had before, but someone _like_ Nancy.

And now he was leaving with Billy and Robin, and it was so unlike anything he would have expected, but it was ten times better.

The kids all waved and biked out on the road, following them for two blocks and shouting after them, and Steve sniffed embarrassingly, and when he looked in the rear view mirror of the car, he saw tears tracking down Billy's face. Billy didn't notice him looking, and he propped up his elbow on the window sill and rested his head against the glass, staring outside as they drove out of Hawkins.

* * *

They made it to all of the towns on time that they had planned to get to each day, quite a bit early on the second day when Billy drove for nearly half the day. Steve was pretty sure that his engine was relieved when Billy and Robin swapped out who was driving, but they were all happy that they got to their hotel earlier than they had expected. Robin had said that she wanted to go for a walk since they had been cramped up in the car all day, and Billy and Steve were left in the hotel room. There was a double bed and a single all in the one room, so the boys would be sharing one bed and Robin was taking the single, and their bags were dumped down with some things were spilling out from where Robin had rummaged through to change into a pair of jeans.

"Hey?" Billy said quietly and Steve hummed in response from where he was slumped down on the uncomfortable couch, the television remote in his hand as he flicked through channels, not really paying attention to what was coming on screen. "Hey—pretty boy?" Billy lifted the volume of his voice and Steve's head actually jerked up so quickly the back of his neck hurt a little.

His cock also started getting hard in his jeans almost instantly.

It was _really_ stupid, all because of that stupid little pet name.

Billy gave him a small smile, and there was something else to it as well, this comfortable laziness that made Steve happy in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with his arousal. It was like the further away they got from Hawkins, the more loose Billy got, and Steve liked that.

"Yeah?" Steve's voice came out a bit rougher than he expected.

"You want to take a shower with me?" Billy asked, tilting his head to the side, and his teeth pressed into his lower and his shoulders got a bit tense and Steve blinked in surprise, because there was a lot more to that question than a pair of people at the beginning of a relationship sharing a shower.

A shower would mean that Billy was prepared to take his shirt in front of Steve.

"Are you...Sure?" Steve asked, his body still twisted on the couch so that he was looking back at Billy, but not moving more because he didn't want to rush Billy. They had only just had their last conversation about it a couple of nights ago, in the apartment that Steve was going to consider 'home' for a long time to come, and Billy _really_ hadn't sounded certain about it then. But Billy just answered by hooking his fingers under the elastic of the sweatpants he was wearing and tugged them down.

And he wasn't wearing any briefs underneath.

Steve's cock didn't stand a chance now as his eyes dropped from Billy's face and down to his crotch.

It wasn't as though he hadn't seen another guys cock before—hell, it wasn't even as though he hadn't seen _Billy's_ before, catching glimpses in the showers and changing rooms back in high school when he was just trying to get dressed and ignoring most people, and then when he had been helping Billy wash the first few nights he had been at Steve's, although he had been studiously trying to ignore it then, because he had just been trying to get Billy clean and then back into bed and not making either of them feel more uncomfortable than they already were, even though Billy had barely been conscious.

But now it was half hard, and it was because of _him_.

Steve swallowed hard and forced himself to look back up at Billy, and his lips were quirked in a small, confident smile, obviously able to read Steve's expression, and then his hands moved to the material of his shirt and his eyes looked a little nervous, but the smile stayed as he pulled it up and over his head.

Before the thin blue material had even hit the ground, Steve had moved to stand right in front of Billy, eyes big and searching and fingers itching to reach out and touch. Their eyes met and Billy's lips parted and Steve leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. Given how close they were, Steve couldn't see Billy's chest, his eyes only filled with Billy's face, making sure he had the chance to back down if he really wanted to.

"You don't have to do this for me," he murmured. Billy took in a sharp breath, eyes closed for a moment as Steve watched his expression flicker through nervousness, and worry, before settling on something soft and vulnerable.

"It's for _us_ ," he replied, and that was probably the sweetest, cheesiest, most _perfect_ thing that Steve had ever heard and he couldn't help but lunge forward and press a much less gentle kiss to Billy's mouth. Billy let out a bit of an ' _oof_ ' as he had to step back to steady himself as Steve pressed his weight against him, and Steve _really_ wanted to make some kind of joke about Billy planting his feet, but then Billy was responding to the kiss with as much urgency as Steve was feeding to him and all other thoughts left the taller mans mind. Steve rested his hands on Billy's hips, not touching his torso yet, not wanting to go anywhere that Billy might be uncomfortable with, guiding him backwards towards the door that lead to the bathroom. Billy let him lead, and Steve couldn't help but think _again_ how different Billy was.

 _His_ Billy.

From Hargrove.

"Billy?" Steve managed to say through a haze of lust and emotions that were all muddling up his head right now as Billy pulled off his shirt, so that they were now both topless, and then started tugging at the buttons of Steve's jeans. There was a little pressure against Steve's cock from Billy's fingers, and it made Steve shiver, but he felt that what he was trying to say was important to be said _now_.

"Mm?" Billy's eyes were barely open as he leaned in again, mouth searching for Steve's, something that Steve adored, the way Billy's lips always followed after his, looking for more pressure and attention. Then Billy rolled his hips forward, and the way his body felt against Steve's was incomparable to anything else he had felt.

"You know that person I said I loved? And Mike asked if it was Robin?" Steve managed to gasp, and he was surprised that he was still stringing words together in sentences that made _sense_. Billy had managed to undo Steve's zipper and the back of his knuckles were now pressing firmly against Steve's cock in his briefs. But he froze and his eyes suddenly snapped open and focused on Steve's, and the brunette wondered if he was saying the wrong thing—if this was all too much at once for Billy. He didn't want to pressure him to say it back if he wasn't ready, and he didn't want to freak him out when he was already letting Steve see him without his shirt on, he just thought it was important, and that Billy was giving him something precious, and he should do the same.

Then again, he'd thought it was _precious_ with someone before, and it had turned out to be _bullshit_ , which was still something that stung, so maybe that was why it felt as though he couldn't breathe right now as he stared at Billy and waited.

"Yeah..." Billy replied, his voice a rasp, and he didn't sound scared or nervous, and Steve took that as a good sign.

"You know it wasn't about Robin," Steve stated and Billy nodded slowly, swallowing hard. "It...It was about _you_ ," he finished, and he couldn't stop himself from licking his lips nervously as he waited for Billy's reply. Billy stared at him for a long moment before cupping his face with one calloused hand and surging in to kiss him _hard_. Steve groaned against Billy's mouth as he was pulled forward, toward the shower in the corner of the bathroom. The hand moved from Steve's cheek and up to his hair, giving it a pull and Steve groaned again, letting his head get pulled back and Billy nosed at his neck, kissing behind Steve's ear and biting gently at his throat. Steve was pretty sure there were going to be marks left, and he _liked_ that, that he was going to be marked by _Billy_.

He wanted to do the same, if Billy let him, he wanted there to be a mark left on Billy's body that was from something _good_ , even if was only temporary.

"You—you need to take your pants off," Billy managed to say as he pulled away from Steve to reach into the shower and turn it on. Steve took in a few deep breaths and pushed his jeans down the rest of the way, and his briefs, kicking them off so that both men were naked and they took a moment to look at each other, Billy's expression apprehensive.

Steve felt a little nervous under inspection from another _guy_ in this way, because it had never been like this in the locker rooms at all. He hadn't just figured out he was into men in the same way that he was into women and then decided to do this with a random stranger—he was so glad he hadn't let things escalate with the guy at the bar—because this wasn't just _a guy_ , it was _Billy_. So he lifted his chin a little and let his eyes wander down over Billy, taking him in.

His skin was still a bit pale, but he seemed to have a tan to it naturally, not just from the sun, so even though he had barely spent anytime outside, he was only a few shades lighter than Steve. The scars that he had...They were bad, Steve knew that _objectively_. But...The fact that somehow— _somehow_ —he had survived, that he had managed to connect with the part of him that had been inside the Mind Flayer and had healed his body before escaping whatever place the government had taken him to and stumbled into the woods. And then Steve was moving on, because the scars were a part of Billy, but they were nowhere near the most important. Billy's curls were hanging just above his shoulders, around his ears, and his facial hair was cleanly cut, just a small beard under his nose and around his mouth, which Steve rolled his eyes at because the upkeep was stupid, Billy needing to tidy it up pretty much every day, but that he secretly appreciated. His eyes were a bright blue, nothing like the haunted glass that had been there for so many months. Steve's eyes dropped further down, to Billy's thighs, sturdy, and then down to his feet for some weird reason, before lifting back up, and then stopping at his cock. Which was at some point...Going to go in him, or...His was going to go in Billy? He wasn't too sure. And honestly, _both_ ideas made his cock throb and precome bead at the head. He kind of wished that Billy turned around so that Steve could have a look at his ass, but he didn't want to push for more than what he was getting.

Billy was looking at him with an amused smile.

"You done yet?" He asked and Steve gave him a sheepish grin in response.

"Probably a lot sooner than I'd like to admit," he replied, and he wrapped his around the base of his cock and gave it a squeeze, to try and calm himself down a little. Billy's eyes dipped down and then grinned as they came back up. His expression was easy, and Steve was glad that the apprehension was gone. They got into the shower, Billy first, and then Steve crowding in after him, pressing the blonde underneath the steady spray of warm water and against the wall. Billy let him, his body pliant under Steve's touch, and as their cocks pressed together, the slide easy with the water sluicing down over their bodies, and it felt like electricity through Steve's limbs. " _Shit_ ," he hissed against Billy's mouth and there was a bubble of laughter from Billy's chest.

"Feels good, huh, pretty boy?" He hummed back and Steve shivered, one hand going to Billy's hip and tugging his ass away from the wall a little so that their hips were pressed together with absolutely no space between them. Billy's ass felt _incredible_ , and Steve gripped it firmly, sliding a little up and down the crease with his fingertips.

"You feel fucking amazing," Steve answered, his voice catching in the middle. He could grind up against someone, he was actually pretty good at it, but it just all felt so different with Billy and Steve's whole body just felt like this clumsy hunk and so Billy sort of took the lead. He pressed up against Steve and rolled his body, their cocks sliding together and their precome mixing, lips and tongues moving together.

Steve was right.

He did come stupidly fast.

But Billy came pretty quickly after.

And then they helped wash each other and they both kept laughing and looking at each other and then laughing again and everything just felt really _loose_ and _easy_ and Steve couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

When they got out of the shower and were drying down, there was an unimpressed clearing of someones throat, and their eyes snapped toward the door and they realized that they had left it open the whole time and Robin was standing there, obviously back from her walk with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Just so we're all on the same page," she said flatly, upper lip curled in disgust. "I only just walked in about two minutes ago to hear you guys giggling louder than Lucas and Dustin do." Steve couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief than she hadn't been there for _everything_ , because it wasn't something that he was willing to share with anyone, even for them just to _hear_ it. "But I never _ever_ want to know what happened in that shower, or any other showers that you two are in that I have to share, okay?" Billy snorted, and then Steve couldn't help but laugh, and that set Billy off, and then they were both laughing, and Robin couldn't stop herself from cracking a grin, even though she was clearly trying not to.

And Steve really loved them.

* * *

The next day was the last day of driving, which Steve was relieved about, even though it had actually been pretty fun. Billy and Robin argued a lot over the radio and Steve sometimes tried to put forward a music choice when they stopped somewhere new to pick up some new tapes, but they always overrode him, and he really didn't care. Billy talked about the beach and his favorite places, and Robin talked about why she wanted to be a nurse—her father had died a few years ago and it had been a slow death from cancer, and the nurses had been the ones that had really comforted both him and her and the rest of her family. Steve was just happy listening until Robin poked him in the side and demanded that he tell them about growing up in the biggest house in town, which ended up just being a really lonely, sad story, which honestly kind of just fitted the mood of the car. They all bonded a lot.

In the last few hours of their drive, Robin fell asleep in the back seat, head buried in a pillow and a blanket that she had taken out of the boot and put on the seat next to her. Steve was driving, and he had had his hand resting at the nape of Billy's neck for the past half hour when Billy got this cheeky look on his face as he reached over and put his own hand on Steve's leg. He was wearing a pair of shorts today, and so Billy's hand was directly on his skin, which was nice and warm, and then Billy started stroking his thumb against the skin. It was just nice to begin with, but then he started moving further upward, until it was directly over Steve's crotch and rubbing very purposefully.

Steve had pretended to look outraged but Billy had just grinned, and then undone his seat belt and pulled down the elastic of Steve's shorts and briefs in one go so that his cock sprung out. It was hard and pink and the shiny at the tip and Billy leaned down without hesitation, over the gearbox in between them, and took Steve in his mouth.

Steve nearly drove the car off the road and into a ditch before he managed to correct them, his whole body tensing and his ears roaring with pleasure.

Billy was good with his mouth and it was clear that he had done this a few times before, but Steve pushed all of those thoughts to the back of his head and just focused on keeping them on the road and trying to stay quiet as Billy's tongue worked its way over him. He made wet sounds and Steve just wanting to groan and whine and he bit down hard on his bottom lip to stop himself from doing that, and lifted the hand that wasn't on the steering wheel to slide through Billy's hair. Billy moaned, and Steve _felt_ it, and it wasn't much longer after than that he was coming, filling Billy's mouth and nearly steering them off the road _again_.

"You're a fucking menace," Steve managed to say as Billy straightened back up and leaned back into his seat, a very satisfied smile on his face, and Steve picked up Billy's hand and kissed the back of it.

* * *

California was beautiful.

It was so different and busy from what Steve and Robin had ever been used to before, living in Hawkins all of their lives, and they were both glad to have Billy with them.

There were plenty of jobs available, even if they were minimum wage, and there were lots of apartments. To begin with, when they were budgeting in the flat out the back of Steve's aunts place with papers spread out around them and markers in their hands, Robin and Steve were only circling places that they could afford on their own income. But when Billy had realized he shoved Steve in the side and flicked Robin behind the ear, saying that they had supported his ass long enough.

Steve had tried to protest that Billy didn't have to go back to work and reality just yet.

Robin told him he was buying her dinner for the next month once he got a job.

They marked jobs in the paper as well, that they could interview for, and out of the three of them, Steve was the one with the best references, from his time as a receptionist at the law firm, who had written him a glowing reference and then encouraged his next employer to call if they wanted more information. Robin had rolled her eyes when she had read it, and Billy had gotten this look of pride as he glanced over at Steve. Robin was steering clear of any jobs that included ice cream and video stores, which was understandable, and Billy was circling anything that revolved around cars, which made sense. Steve didn't really have any rhyme or reason to his circling with bright pink marker, just swirling around anything that caught his eye, including a dentists assistant and pre-school teachers aide.

Lila Jenkins, Steve's mothers sister, had been single for some time, since her husband had died four years ago and she hadn't remarried since. There had been plenty of men that had crossed her path, and Steve had heard his mum mention that his aunt had been going on singles cruises a few times, but there didn't seem to be anyone around now, so she liked having people at the house. So she made them a home cooked breakfast every morning and dinner every night and she cooed about how beautiful Robin was and made pointed looks at Steve, and Billy grinned and played with Steve's feet under the table. Billy helped Lila with the dishes and her eyes were all big as he flirted with her easily—so much like _Hargrove_ from before everything happened back in Hawkins, but with a softer edge—and it was clear that she had a bit of a crush. Steve just rolled his eyes and asked Billy if he should be worried about his aunt stealing Billy away from him as they had left the main house and headed out to the flat, and Billy had barked out a laugh and then pulled Steve into their shared room and they'd made out until they came in their pants.

His aunt wasn't rushing them to leave, but all three wanted their own space, and so within three weeks of moving to California, they were looking at their fifth place. It was a bit more expensive than the other places, and it was on the twelfth floor of the apartment building, with a big balcony that curled around the corner apartment. It was only about ten minute drive from the beach if the traffic was good, and there was a regular bus route to UCLA that would only take Robin about twenty-five minutes each way. The space was open and airy, big windows and there wasn't too much noise from the traffic, and there was the slight tinge of ocean salt in the air that came in through the windows.

It was beautiful.

And it would stretch their budget.

Even if all of them were working and the extra money that Steve got from his father.

Billy had called a man that he had used to work for when he had lived in California two years ago to ask if there were any jobs available, and he had sounded more than happy to take Billy back in. It would mean travelling nearly forty minutes, if they got this apartment, because it was closer to where Billy used to live, but he had mumbled that he didn't care when the three of them were standing outside, because he _wanted_ this apartment. The Camaro wasn't ready, so they were all just sharing Steve's car, so there was going to be some issues figuring out transportation, but they'd get there, they weren't worried. Steve and Robin hadn't gotten jobs yet, but they had applied at a couple and gone for some interviews and were waiting to hear back, and they were hopeful.

"I'm showing this place to a couple this afternoon, and a few more people tomorrow morning," the real estate agent called from inside, her voice nasally and unpleasant. "It's prime real estate, it's going to be gone very soon." Billy's eyes were a little urgent as he tugged at Steve's sleeve and Steve glanced at him before looking back inside, meeting the agents eyes steadily as she studied Billy and Steve standing so closely. She quickly turned away and looked toward the kitchen and Steve looked back at Billy and Robin. Robin _also_ had a hopeful look on her face, wiggling her eyebrows and looking like an idiot.

"You said that it's out of our budget," Steve pointed out.

"It's probably gonna be a bit tight," she admitted, and she sounded disappointed, but Billy was still looking up at Steve with big eyes. "I mean, especially if we don't start working for a few weeks—but we've got the deposit and your dad let us keep the bond of the old place on _top_ of that, so..."

"So you want to say yes?" Steve surmised, unable to stop a small smirk.

"Yes! I want to say yes!" Robin bounced up and down, the shirt she was wearing that Steve was pretty sure was actually one that he had brought Billy at some point, flipping up a bit.

"Come _on_ , pretty boy," Billy was on his other side, still tugging on his sleeve, and Robin grabbed his other arm, fluttering her eyelashes in a _very_ un-Robin fashion and Steve looked between them, turning his head a few times. It was like when Dustin and Mike, or two of the other brats were trying to twist his arm into giving them ice cream before they went into the theater—both for free _of course_. Steve pursed his lips together, but the thing was, Robin was the one who kept an eye on all of their money and if she felt as though they were going to be okay, then that was good enough for him.

"Let's do it," Steve shrugged and there was a whoop from Billy and a cheer from Robin before she was rushing in to tell the real estate agent. Billy didn't lean in and kiss Steve, but it was clear he wanted to, and Steve honestly would not have cared if he had, but instead they just smiled warmly at each other.

* * *

Billy's nightmares didn't stop, and sometimes Robin still needed to take her sleeping tablets and Steve had his anxiety medication to take every morning. Things didn't just _magically_ completely heal, but they did get continue to get better, and always at a surprising pace. It seemed as though they just really needed to get out of Hawkins, make a clean break and put some good distance between everything that had happened and go somewhere new. Even for Billy it was new, they were an hour away from where he had lived, and the beaches that they were going to weren't the ones that he used to go to, and the places they found in the weekends to hang out were places that they discovered together, all new and different.

Robin got a position as a receptionist at a Planned Parenthood and Steve got a job as a personal assistant at another law firm, which was pretty similar to what he had been doing before. Robin's pay was minimum, but Billy and Steve's weren't, and they were all able to cover their expenses and have some left over to be comfortable, even if some nights they had to munch on toast or have cereal for dinner because they'd had an unexpectedly high power bill that they'd had to pay.

Robin also got her letter of acceptance from UCLA, and Billy smacked a sloppy kiss to her cheek when she ripped open the letter and read it out to them.

Steve just smiled, his heart feeling stupidly full.

Then Dustin called, on one of the fortnightly long-distant phone calls that his mother allowed, and Steve stretched out the curly phone cord as far as he could so that he could sit on the couch and watch Robin and Billy shove each other as they sat out on the deck and shared a cigarette and flipped through a trashy magazine Robin had brought home from work.

About two months and a half months after they moved, in late November, Billy finally took Steve to the beach that he had been thrown back to when he had been the host for the Mind Flayer and where El had gone when she had dipped into his mind. He hadn't told Steve that was where they were going when they had headed down to the underground garage to where Billy's only recently finished Camaro was parked, but once they had started driving out of town with Whitesnake playing in the cassette deck, he figured it out. Billy was tense, which was the opposite of how Billy had been since they had come to Los Angeles, except for the nights he woke with terrors and maybe a handful of other occasions, but never when they were just driving. Steve reached over and rested his hand easily on Billy's thigh, nails scratching lightly over the tanned skin and the short hairs, since Billy was wearing a pair of red shorts, a lot more comfortable with just reaching out and touching Billy now.

They officially shared a bed now, no spare bed in the room with them.

Billy had been pretty stuck on that at first, in case any of the neighbors that they didn't know stopped by or the landlord came for an inspection, and they saw both boys things in one room with only one bed. Steve had just felt more stubborn about it, and Billy had relented after he realized just how _okay_ with it Steve was.

Sometimes they held hands when they were out, although they weren't stupid about it, they didn't shove it in front of peoples faces, because even though they weren't in a tiny country town in the middle of Indiana anymore, a lot of people still didn't like to see two men holding hands.

They went to a weird underground bar with Robin and her new friend from Planned Parenthood, Jessie Stevens, that had a live band and was obviously pretty big in the queer scene, and there had been two woman making out in the doorway as soon as they walked through the door.

Steve and Billy danced and groped a little and then after too many drinks to count, they made out in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by twenty other people.

Things were pretty good.

Of course, there were bad things, like when Billy had slapped Steve's ass on the beach one time, in front of a group of snarly looking older men, who had called them _fags_ and had told them to _take their disgusting bullshit elsewhere_ and Robin had gone almost completely feral from where she had been kicking in the shallow water nearby them, going into full attack mode, and Billy and Steve had needed to drag them away.

Steve didn't like that he couldn't just kiss Billy whenever he wanted, when they were walking up and down the shopping aisles, like he would have with Nancy or the other girls that he had dated.

Sometimes he did.

A lot of the time he didn't.

He was more comfortable about it than Billy, Billy was the wary one, and Steve could understand that.

If his own father beat him and while calling him horrible slurs, Steve could imagine that he would be hesitant about being public about his relationship as well.

"You ready?" Billy asked quietly and Steve realized that the car was now stopped and parked a the side of the road. There was a low wooden fence that ran along the side of the road, where the sand and the grass were all mixing together, to deter people from driving onto the beach, and Billy lead the way over it, kicking his feet through the sand as it became heavier and the grass all but disappeared. Billy was in shorts and a grey jersey with sandals and Steve was wearing a pair of sweatpants that were probably actually brought as a matched pair with the grey jersey Billy was wearing and short sleeved shirt, also in sandals, so that the sand got all around their toes.

There weren't a lot of people on the beach, but there were still some around, a couple in the water in wet suits with their surf boards. In Indiana, it would be snowing by this time of year, and it was weird, that for the first time in Steve's life, he was about to go through a Christmas without any snow. And not just no snow, but it was warm enough that he was wearing a short sleeved shirt and Billy was in shorts, and it was _weird_.

But weird was good.

Weird was different and it was shaping all of them into adults that they were all proud of and who were functioning incredibly well for people who had gone through literal monster attacks.

They walked for a while and then Billy reached out and took Steve's hand, linking his fingers together with Steve's, and Steve looked over at him and gave him a small smile. Billy didn't smile back, but he looked a little bit less tense as he bumped his shoulder against Steve's side. A girl with her dog was jogging and she glanced down at their joined hands and then flashed them a grin before running past them, and Steve's smile grew a bit in the corners. They kept walking until Billy tugged on Steve's hand, pulling them to a stop, and they sat down next to each other in the soft sand, looking out over the water. It wasn't a completely clear sky, there were some clouds and the wind had a little bit of a bite to it as it blew over the ocean, so Steve put his arm around Billy and tucked him in against his side, waiting for his boyfriend to talk, letting him take the lead of this conversation, wherever it was going to go.

"We came to this beach every Sunday morning," Billy finally said, his voice rough and low, a lot like it used to be, back when he was barely ever talking when he first moved in with Steve, and when they had first moved in with Robin. "Me and my ma." Steve's fingers pressed firmly against Billy's arm, where they were draped, against the muscle that was curving there, starting to build up again with Billy's renewed gym routine and steady physical work. "Sometimes we would come Saturday mornings, but hardly ever, because dad always wanted me playing sports. Baseball, basketball, football—there was hardly ever a Saturday where I was free." Steve pursed his lips together, and turned his head to the side, so that he wasn't looking out at the water anymore. But he didn't stare at Billy, just buried his face in Billy's shoulder and waited for him to continue. "He hardly ever came down with us, I think he liked it when we left, because it meant that he had the house to himself and we weren't bothering him. He didn't like it when we were loud and messy and...Taking up space."

"He's a bastard," Steve mumbled against Billy's skin and Billy reached out and circled a hand around Steve's ankle, from where it was beginning to slide under the sand, burying his foot and his sandal and all, giving it a squeeze.

"She came in the water with me a lot, but sometimes she liked to just walk along the beach and collect shells, and we would make castles and decorate them," Billy's voice sounded wistful and Steve's heart hurt a bit in his chest. "She couldn't surf—had the _worst_ coordination, a bit like you," he added with a huff of laughter and Steve poked him lightly in the side with a finger in protest and Billy snorted again, but it sounded a bit stuck in his throat. "So she would ask people to help me, flashing them this beautiful smile and her big blue eyes, and people would do whatever she wanted, even helping this runt of a kid to surf."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Steve couldn't help but say. "You smile and bat your eyelashes, and you know people fall down at your feet." He was glad when Billy's laugh didn't sound as choked this time.

"She...She always tried to protect me from him," Billy tightened his grip around Steve's ankle. "I would spill my drink at the dinner table, and he would go for me, and she would get in the way. Or I would leave my muddy shoes on the carpet and he would try to through them at me, and she would stand in front of me. She—" Billy swallowed hard. "She kept trying to protect me until she one afternoon I got home from school and I realized that she was still in bed, in the exact same place that she had been when I had gone to school in the morning. So...I went in there and I pulled back the blankets from over her head, and her face and her arms and..." his breathing was shaky and Steve tightened his arms even more around Billy, his other hand resting over the fingers that Billy had wrapped around Steve's ankle. "Her eyes—her face—s-she was bloody and blue and beaten and—it was was the worst I had ever seen her. She—" Billy broke off again and Steve lifted his head to look at Billy and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. "She was _barely recognizable_ , and it—" he stopped and the tears were coming down steadily and Steve reached forward to kiss Billy's cheek, tasting the saltiness of the tears on his mouth. "It was a few weeks later that she left for good. That she decided I wasn't worth protecting anymore."

"Billy..." Steve uttered, swallowing hard, his throat convulsing, and he wanted to find a fluffy blanket and wrap it around Billy and keep him away from all the messiness in his head and all the crappiness that he had endured in his life time.

"I _begged_ her to come home," Billy's breathing hitched. "I found phone numbers for all her friends and her parents and I rang them all the time until I managed to find her, and I fucking _begged_ her to come back or to take me with her, but she never did." Steve's own eyes were glassy and his breathing came out stuttered. "And dad blamed _me_. There was no one there for me anymore, no one stopping him."

"I'm so sorry," Steve whispered as tears fell from his own eyes. There was a pause as Billy took in a few deep breaths.

"The reason...The reason that we had to move to Hawkins was because my dad found me with a-a guy," Billy said shakily. "It was after Max and Susan moved in, and they were all off playing happy families for the weekend and I was at home by myself. There was a guy that I was seeing and it was the first time we could spend the night together and we were so fucking stupid and weren't paying attention to the time on Sunday. Dad, Susan and Max got home and found me and him in my bed. He laid into _both_ of us with his belt..." he breathed out heavily through his nose. "Turned out that Jay—the guy—his dad was a cop. Jay didn't want to tell his dad what happened—he didn't want to come out—but his dad still knew that it had something to do with me and my dad, and...It was just easier to move away from all of it. And that's how we ended up in fucking Hawkins." Steve really didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything, just laid his head back against Billy's shoulder and looked back toward the water.

The tide was coming in, little ripples getting further and further up the sand. The sun got higher in the sky and burnt the breeze a bit warmer, and they were quiet. The tears on their faces dried up, but more fell down Billy's cheeks as he talked about what had happened over that fateful 4th July holiday.

He told Steve about driving to meet with Nancy's mother at the hotel on the outskirts of town. Steve didn't say anything, but he thought that explained the strange look that the older woman had given them when they were leaving Hawkins. He told Steve about the car crash, and being dragged into the abandoned building, and the _people_ that he saw on the road, about the person who was _him_. And then there were the attacks, and El, and the voices in his head, and the _guilt_ that Billy had been carrying on his shoulders and the PTSD from dying as he had stood in front of El's sprawled figure. Then about how everything went black, and how he had lost _weeks_ , and how he had had no idea how he had gotten from the mall to some science lab, and he had smashed through a window and just headed toward the dark, dense forest that surrounded the lab.

And then Steve shared.

He hadn't realized that there was so much about himself that he hadn't shared with Billy.

Bits and pieces had come out, about his experiences with the Upside Down and about his parents and Billy was fucking smart, like Robin and Nancy, and so he could put a lot together without Steve needing to spell it out. There were the things that Billy knew about Steve's parents from when they were in the car, on their way to California, and how they would rather give him money than attention and time. He knew that Nancy had completely trampled Steve's heart and he had taken a lot longer to get over it than he had expected, to heal the shattered pieces of his heart. He knew that Steve had a lot more knowledge about the Upside Down than Billy did.

But he hadn't realized that Steve had had _two_ run ins with the Upside Down before the last time. It sounded as though Max had told him like that night—that night that felt like a life time ago—when Billy had shown up at the Byers house and he and Steve had gotten into a fight, that _that_ night they had been in the middle of something. But he hadn't known that there had been something the year before. So Steve told him about that, and about Barb Holland, and about Tommy H and Carol Talmadge, who were both so insignificant now but had been so important at the time.

"I think we both need therapy, pretty boy," Billy mumbled when he was done, his voice muffled from where his mouth was resting against Steve's arm.

"I think you're right," Steve commented. They must have been there for a long time, because the sun was sliding down the other side of the sky now, no longer high up above them, and the wind was getting a bit cold again.

"I was never supposed to end up Hawkins, falling in love with a dude whose daddy pays his credit card and who fights monsters with a bunch of eleven year olds," Billy mused and Steve blinked in shocked, because that was the first time Billy had said that he had loved Steve _back_ , even though Steve hadn't quite said _those_ words. To be fair, Billy hadn't quite said those words _either_ , but it was still more than what Steve had been expecting.

"Well..." he licked his lips, gathering himself. "I was never supposed to fall in love with a guy who broke a plate over my head and used to check me out in the showers while pretending to intimidate me." Billy arched an eyebrow at him and Steve smirked, glad that the mood between them felt a little lighter. "Oh yeah, don't think I didn't see that, when you were pressing all up on me in the locker rooms and doing your big macho talk, always taking the shower _right_ next to me." Billy's grin was almost shark like as he leaned in and kissed Steve firmly on the mouth, not caring that there was a couple walking hand-in-hand just a few feet away from them, at the waters edge.

As they drove back to their apartment, they were both quiet, and the radio wasn't playing and that was okay, because the silence was companionable and they had a lot to think about, processing everything they had dredged up. Both window was cracked a little, letting a breeze in, and it was ruffling Steve's hair as he leaned back against the headrest, unable to stop himself from looking over at Billy and the way the sun was making his golden skin and blonde hair glow.

Robin still wasn't back when they got to their apartment, and Billy held Steve's hand tightly as he lead him into their bedroom after they had kicked off their shoes. Steve let him lead the way, and once they got in there, Billy didn't bother shutting the door, which was something they only did now if they were fooling around and Robin was home, which spoke to how far Billy had come—and there was no heater in sight. Once they got in there, Billy pressed Steve toward their bed and Steve sat down, toes curling into the carpet under his feet, spreading his thighs enough so that Steve could stand between them.

"All that...All that _stuff_ I told you," Billy began, a little haltingly, still holding Steve's hand and looking down at him, licking his lips nervously. "About what I did and how I feel...Does it change anything?" Steve's eyebrows pulled together and he head tilted to the side.

But then he realized, that maybe the last person who had told Billy they loved him...They'd _left_ when things had gotten really hard. Steve couldn't imagine what Billy's mother went through, what she had suffered, but leaving Billy behind was something that he _could never_ understand.

"Billy," Steve lifted his other hand, resting it on Billy's hip underneath his shirt and rubbing his skin gently with his thumb. "I _love_ you." Billy's lashes fluttered and his body swayed before he was moving his legs to straddle Steve's thighs, sitting down heavily on his boyfriends legs. His hands came up to Steve's face, cupping it as he brought their lips together. Steve's hands roamed, continuing under and up the jersey and shirt that Billy was wearing, exploring the warm skin. His fingers grazed over the scars left from the Mind Flayer, but Billy didn't flinch at his touch like he had not too long ago, but Steve also didn't push him by touching the rough skin for too long, swiftly moving on. Billy tugged at Steve's shirt and then Steve was pulling at Billy's and then they were moving back properly on the bed so that Steve was lying down with his head resting on one of their pillows and Billy was stretched out over top of him, their crotches lined up together, chests pressed firmly, and his legs easily falling on either side of Steve's. "I love you," Steve repeated between kisses, scratching his fingers lightly down Billy's back and then dipped under the elastic band of his shorts and underwear. "I fucking love you," he mumbled and his hands started working, pulling at the shorts and Billy lifted his hips, pressing up against the bed on either side of Steve's shoulders and then Billy was braced naked over top of Steve, their faces a few inches apart.

"Steve?" Billy's voice was low, thick eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he blinked slowly. Steve lifted his hand to cup Billy's face, gently running his fingers along Billy's cheekbone, unable to stop his fond smile as he stared up at the blue eyes that he got to wake up to every morning. Billy smiled back, his lips pink and a little wet, and he was breathing slowly through his nose.

"Yeah, baby?" Steve murmured, the pet name that he had started using six weeks or so just coming out easily. Billy's eyelashes fluttered again and Steve felt a shiver run through the blonde, a positive response to the term of endearment that always made Steve's body glow from the inside out.

"I love you too," Billy replied in a whisper, and Steve couldn't stop his smile from breaking out over his face and reaching up to nuzzle his nose against Billy's. Billy bumped his nose against Steve's a few times before he let out a huff and laughed and rolled to the side and pulled Steve on top of him.

Steve was quickly stripped of his pants and underwear and then they were both naked. They kissed long and languid, bodies moving together and their cocks got wet from the precome that was leaking from the head. When Steve reached under the bed for the lube, it wasn't rushed, although Billy's cock jerked as Steve's hand circled around him, fingers sure and wet with lube. They had done a lot in the past couple of months, becoming a lot more familiar with one anothers body and Billy teaching Steve things that he hadn't done before. Steve was incredibly willing to learn, and in the past few weeks, they'd both realized that they both enjoyed the idea being on the bottom _and_ being on the top. Billy had made Steve come a stupid amount of times with his fingers buried deep in Steve's ass, massaging his prostate and Steve's cock buried down his throat, and in turn, Steve had watched Billy break apart while riding Steve's fingers as he'd straddled Steve's lap, Steve's hand wrapped around his cock. They hadn't actually had sex yet, not really talking about _not_ doing it, just making their way up to it slowly, not wanting to rush into things, but something about _this moment here_ that they were sharing felt like it was right.

Steve wasn't sure how it was decided, but he was running his fingers down Billy's side and over his hip bone, and then Billy was lifting him up his leg and Steve was reaching down, sweeping over the curve of Billy's ass and gently following the crease, and Steve knew that it was only going to be a matter of time before he was inside Billy.

It wasn't Steve's first time having sex, since he had been with plenty of girls before, and it wasn't Billy's first, since there'd been guys before Steve and a single girl, before Billy fully accepted he wasn't into females, but it was their first experiencing _this together_.

Billy's breathing hitched and he shook beautifully as Steve opened him up with his fingers, starting slowly with one finger, then two and three, curving them up inside of Billy and watching his lovers face carefully, eyes glowing fond and dark with lust. Billy was tight and hot around Steve's fingers, and Steve's cock was throbbing between his legs, already so close to coming. Billy scratched lightly at Steve's arm and then pulled him up, pressing his knees against Steve's hips as the taller man laid between his legs and over his body. They both fumbled with the condom, and Billy didn't even laugh when they dropped the little square onto the bed before Steve managed to roll it over his erection with slightly shaky hands.

"I love you," Steve mumbled against Billy's lips, and he didn't _care_ that their first time actually having sex was when they were first saying these words explicitly and was a completely cliché. Because it felt right, and the whole moment was electric and heady and Billy was looking at him like he was the only thing in his entire universe.

"I love you too," Billy whispered and then Steve was sliding inside Billy and the blonde was crying out in pleasure, one hand in Steve's hair and the other digging into Steve's back.

And the whole thing was just...So close to perfect. Steve was breathing hard and Billy couldn't stop sighing Steve's name under his breath and all it took was Billy coming, sticky and hot between their sliding bodies and clenching down hard around Steve's cock inside him, before Steve was coming as well, his face buried in Billy's neck.

* * *

The day before New Years Eve, two days before 1987 was officially there, all of the brats and Nancy flew into the airport. Steve, Billy and Robin had helped to pay for their tickets, and Jonathan had pitched in as well from the job that he was working at, and the Wheelers covered Mike, Nancy and Max's tickets. Steve and Billy still weren't sure what Neil had been told about where Max was going for four nights over New Years, because they were pretty sure he had no idea that she was coming to Los Angeles to spend time with Billy, but Susan seemed to know. Jonathan drove up to meet them with El and Will—not for the first time, since El had demanded that Jonathan bring her up twice before to see the trio—and had helped to pick everyone up from the airport. The Byers and El had moved again last year, and now they were further away from Hawkins and closer to Los Angeles, and Nancy was beginning to make sounds about coming out there.

The first night had gotten so loud that there had been banging on the wall from their neighbors, Dustin not really knowing how to talk at a lower level when regaling Steve with everything that he had missed, even though they talked every other week. Jonathan and Nancy were on the balcony or in the corner a lot of the time, not paying much attention to anyone else since this was the first time in months that they had been reunited and most of the others bounced between the the lounge and the kitchen, pigging out on the food and then jumping onto the couch, in front of the TV.

Another interesting thing that Steve noted was El, Will and Mike, all curled up together on the couch. Mike was in the middle, Will and El on either side, their hands all clasped, and it was actually really sweet the way they seemed to have...Settled together.

Lucas and Max were still _on_ , but it seemed as though there had maybe been some shaky ground because he was running around getting her drinks and food.

Apparently Dustin had sworn off girls until he had gone to college, although Steve just smirked at him knowingly because it was just a matter of time before a girl who caught his eye came along.

They spent the day of New Years Eve showing their friends around, and Nancy and Jonathan finally weren't attached at the hip anymore. Steve couldn't help but smile when he saw Billy toss an arm around Max's shoulder and kiss Steve on the cheek, and Nancy and Jonathan's eyebrows practically disappeared into their hairline. Billy was smiling and talking, and even though Lucas and Dustin were still skittery around him, everyone else seemed strangely comfortable with him now, just like they were with Steve and Robin.

Steve loved it.

Because he loved Billy.

And he loved the brats and Robin and even Nancy and Jonathan.

And he wanted all of them to love _each other_ as well, even though he had no control over that.

Max was obviously comfortable around him, and the siblings were spending most of their time together while Max and her friends were up, but El was also comfortable around Billy. That was clear, given she had gotten Jonathan to bring her up a few times to see the trio and she had spent some time with Billy one-on-one, mainly reassuring him that she was okay and that she wasn't scared of him anymore, the pair of them sitting out on the balcony with their legs under the railing and hanging over the edge, talking quietly. And then Will also seemed to be okay with Billy as well, and since El and Will were okay, that meant Mike grudgingly accepted Billy as well, although there were still a lot of distrusting looks, which were Mike's specialty in general.

When they saw Steve and Billy together, especially when they were in their apartment, it seemed to take them aback a bit, and there were clearly a lot of questions that they wanted to ask, but most of them _didn't_ , other than Dustin, who really didn't know how to stop himself. Dustin demanded to know how long _this_ was going on, if Billy had coerced or blackmailed him into it and _why_ Steve had never told him that he was into _dudes_. Steve just grinned and answered Dustin's questions with Billy tucked against his side, who was huffing a little at the accusations of blackmailing Steve. Will and Mike watched them a lot as well, and Steve hoped that whatever they were seeing, it was something that helped them. He wasn't sure what their dynamic was—El, Will, Mike—but they all clearly cared about each other, so he knew they'd figure something out.

"You look happy," Nancy commented quietly and Steve glanced over at her in surprise, taking his cigarette out of his mouth. It was ten-thirty on the 31st of December, only an hour and a half away from 1987, and there was a lot of noise coming from inside their apartment. Fortunately, this time, there wouldn't be any complaints from the neighbors like there was last night, since there was a lot of noise coming from a lot of the apartments up and down their hall.

"Thanks," Steve replied, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette over the edge of the balcony where he and Nancy were standing. He was pretty sure Robin and Jessie were out on the balcony as well, but around the other side, where it disappeared around the corner, probably making out, even though Robin was still protesting that they were _just friends_.

"No, I mean it," Nancy chewed down on the corner of her bottom lip and Steve's eyebrows pulled together because Nancy actually looked nervous and he didn't understand why. He thought that they were in a pretty good place; they didn't have much to do with each other anymore, especially now that Steve had moved away, but when Billy had first been found and he had come to live with Steve, Nancy had helped out a lot. She had come over when Steve was at work so that Billy wasn't alone in the house, even though she didn't really interact with Billy, and she would check in with Steve to make sure he was okay, even though that had been pretty awkward for both of them. But then they had seemed to find some sort of a middle ground and gotten closer, and her and Robin got on well, and she had studied a few times at their apartment and bitched about how hard the long distance relationship was with Jonathan. "I know that—things didn't exactly end _well_ with us, and I—I just wanted to say that you and Billy seem really happy together. And Robin. It's clear you're all good friends. You deserve that." Steve stared at Nancy for a moment and then he leaned forward and wrapped an arm around her, giving her a hug. Nancy let out a sigh and seemed to relax against him, his words seeming to make her happy.

When they went back inside, Billy met his eyes from where he was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, and Steve smiled at him before winding his way over and shoving Lucas over so that he could squeeze onto the couch between him and Billy. There was music and the kids wanted to play Twister, so they laid it all out in the middle of the floor and the older people stayed on the outskirts and watched the kids all fall over themselves. Billy snorted and buried his face in Steve's chest, and Jonathan smiled over at them, and Robin made a face, as though seeing Billy and Steve curled up together made her want to throw up, but Steve knew Robin loved them. Plus, he could see Jessie had her arm round Robin's waist and how Robin was pressing kisses against Jessie's temple when she thought that no one was looking, so he was guessing it was just a matter of time until he saw _them_ all curled up together and acted nauseating as well.

A few minutes before midnight, they all piled out onto the balcony. Jonathan and Nancy were leaning against each, arms looped around waists, and honestly, Steve didn't feel anything but happy for them when he saw them together. Because Steve couldn't give Nancy what she had needed, and it turned out, she couldn't give him what he needed either, that was where Billy came in. Jessie and Robin were together, and then the kids were all lined up against the railing, huddled together, all a lot taller than they had been a few years ago when Steve had first started getting closer to them, and it made him a bit sad, but he pushed that aside. They were all growing up, and that was something he got to be a part of with them.

Then there was Billy and Steve.

The countdown started loudly, even Nancy and Robin joining in with the chanting and Steve grinned and he rested his chin on Billy's shoulder. They were nearly down to one, nearly at midnight when Billy tipped his head back and looked up at Steve in the dim light that was coming from the TV in the lounge and the light in the kitchen.

"Fuck I love your glasses," Billy whispered and Steve couldn't help but laugh, knowing that the lights outside were reflecting in the lenses. "I love you."

" _Two...One_!"

Fireworks began exploding down at the water front, up into the sky and over the water. The kids were all cheering and hugging each other but Steve was just looking down at Billy, who was smiling up at him.

"I love you too," Steve replied, leaning down and kissing Billy softly.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! Please leave a comment, let me know what you think, this has consumed my entire life for the past two and a half weeks.  
> xxx


End file.
